Some Sly Tricks Of The Tradecraft As It Were, Keywords Hack, Steal, Spy, Eavesdrop, iPhone, E-Mail, Master, Password, Phrasestring, Privacy, Constitution, Guns, Lawyers, Money

       Thursday, 8 August 2013, NORTH HAVEN, MAINE - Well the ruling elite is off from their five-day weekend houses in the Hamptons to their five-week summer houses off the coast of Maine. The cooks, au pairs and housekeepers are keeping the children out of sight and setting out the hard liquor  We are fighting with the locals and longtimers over mooring amongst the sailboats our 250-foot power yacht (just slightly longer than the Ferry) bought with Google AdSense pocket change and tastefully emblazoned down the hull in "graffiti-look" the words "AMENDMENT NINE AIN'T SHE FINE!" Seems our fuel requirements to fill up will empty the Vinal Haven marina fuel tanks until sometime next Spring. Perfect!
       Anyway dawn is breaking over Penobscott Bay or maybe it is just early evening but anyway we did promise SOME content. Okay, this one is not on e-mail as expected (look up "hush mail" readers who just cannot wait), but we know are readers are sure to love it anyway. No doubt some are aware of the battle raging between the D.A.s of San Francisco and Manhattan about the disabling of MePhones. The D.A.s say they now are responsible for something like half of all street crime. The manufacturers meanwhile are saying it is impossible to turn one off (unless the bill is not paid). No really one can only imagine the hit to sales and SHARE PRICE of Apple and Samsung if everyone were not forced to buy two or three of each model of phone due to theft. It could bring the economy to its knees.
       Now here is a Ninth Amendment solution courtesy of an unnamed friend who comes up with ideas like the following about three a minute when not dumpster diving in the abandoned DEA trash (did readers know the Agency even has its very own MOUSEPADS?) or especially Costco's (it has been known to throw out entire RACKS of mountain bikes because they are last season's or cases of super-expensive light bulbs because a couple were broken in shipping), and that is just the START of an evening's dumpster shoppin. . .
       The idea for the MePhones is fairly simple but then are not all the best ideas? Have our readers figured out what all those buttons and holes and little switches and things do yet? Do not worry neither have we. Just find the sequence which allows one to put some text across the front of the phone, and if being a reader not a video game player one cannot find it have a child do it for you. Then just pick some effective phrase and have it display across the front of the phone. In our case it is amazing how effective the two simple words "No Service" have been in eliminating all interest in our phones. Sorry Apple and Samsung.
       Well the e-mail tips will mostly have to await another day, but the phone one above was worth at least a few hundred dollars would our readers not say? Readers first tip, though, is that according to the computer magazines which we do NOT read, the password/master password thing is out for most of us who otherwise spend our nights awake sweating trying to remember what we have forgotten no longer having any time to actually do anything like write e-mails, bank, pay bills, etc., as we are so busy managing all our passwords and latest security devices and updating our operating systems, browsers, add-ons, tending to sick plug-ins and so on, and then it is time to go out and buy the next generation of "heavy equipment" . . . 
       Anyway, they call them "passphrases" and we really could not tell our readers if they are adequate or not. Supposedly anyway after having been told that pet names, birthdays, and now just any old words are out because of "dictionary" attacks we understand the latest things are "passphrases" which are a few words strung together in a not completely predictable way and which we actually might have a chance of remembering. Oh and one more thing of course is the big recommendation of late that one do the "two-step" security with the second step being, you guessed it naturally, a final security code to punch in called to the phone which one just had stolen. . . .
       Until next time, happy computing, and get ready for some more real tried but true "tradecraft", like the three consecutive turns when being followed, the (states names will be coming next time) trust for the car's registration and about ten other things one would rather keep private, clicking the car door open just BEFORE, PLEASE SAFETY FIRST the tow truck is about to pick it up (occupied vehicle), the homemade mailbox added at the end of the rural row, and so on. . . .  But first and foremost, and we will remind you again before we continue:  Never do anything about which one has doubts before consulting a duly licensed attorney.
       Living off the grid without the good old U.S.D.A. grade "A", hey, hey, hey.

Copyright 2013 Big M All World Rights Expressly Reserved

Doing The Thomas Pynchon Misinformation Disinformation Do It Again Prism Prison Tango For The NSA, CIA, FBI, DEA, Secret Service, Office of Naval Intelligence, MI5, KGB (Just "KEYWORDS" Who Cares) GooGoo Twit-R Facelog Bam-Bam-Obama-Bo-Bama Leg Iron Shuffle

      Monday, 1 July 2013, BEIJING - Hello readers sorry about all the mail we externs have been getting behind on these days. But who can keep track of all those p.o. box keys and renewals and everything anyway. No worries about the headline just some drunk tech yuppie left his algorithms and his mePhone 9 when we dragged him out of the street over his protests, last thing we saw of him he went screaming off toward the bad part of town trailing one hundred dollar bills.

     Now what about the daily posts that sometimes appear to come out only, well, not every day? All we can say is we cannot be responsible for the entire world wide web. We duly send off the pigeons each morning (sometimes by one minute past midnight to beat the "Newspapers of Record" whatever they are) from all over the world except our bureaus on rapidly melting but still cool icebergs and big growing deserts which are really getting hot these days. Please no mail about the "pigeon launchings" which of course are only committed or rather celebrated where allowed in fact encouraged by law like lots of places here in our friendly local host country, and they are fed a working wage.

     And in other areas short of pigeons as determined by the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service (the U.S. "Livin' The Wild Life Serve Us"?) and private oil refineries which if we remember the tv ads from our childhoods correctly are kind of like national parks only where everything dies of natural people-made pollution or when parts of the refinery blow up by accident because they are so busy drug-testing the "safety sensitive" workers and interrogating them over 50% "false positives" (because they use the cheap tests when they should be checking for BTEX in their blood anyway) that they are like zombies made to work either triple-shifts or get fired or at least make them work every weekend and holiday for the next five years). Speaking of which if they gave former failed animal husbandry major Texas Idiot Governor Rick  "Six-Shooter" Perry a PET scan we bet they would have taken him straight from that debate to the ICU (please, anywhere but Texas, we have a drug discount card) found a cortex full of methylethylbenzene helps keep the air, well . . . .

     Back to our original digression (no you cannot digress from your starting point) of course most of the correspondence we receive would not be publishable or even maybe mentionable under our strict policies because one can only say so much about that which. . . . All we have to say is three days from now the Founding Fathers will be twirling in their graves. At least since these idiots have to say an oath to the Constitution, could they not maybe as well be made to read it! It does after all have a part on amending it. If they get one wrong, no let's be fair and lower the bar, if they cannot get even a single question on it right, we say take away their gun and stick a pocket U.S. Constitution in it.

     After all even in the CBS 1968 News Special Mr. Justice Hugo L. Black admitted he always carried one in his pocket because HE could not remember every word of it. (It was kind of a stupid question to ask him, although he DID use the example of why we find the word "No" in the First Amendment and "unreasonable" in the Fourth. He was in his eighties and had yet to write the Pentagon Papers decision).

      Please do not even get us going on how they have ignored the Ninth Amendment. Do not worry we will all have time to read it from prison between being waterboarded and shocked on the genitals while attacked naked by German Shepherds because for what we said on Mugbook about Monsanto fifteen years ago. That is if they are handing out reading material. Please do not say we did not tell you so. We told you so.

Copyright 2013 Big M All World Rights Expressly Reserved