Showing posts with label parking meter. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parking meter. Show all posts

25 August 2013

Worldwide Ninth Amendment Readership Escalation Cements Investigator's Handbook Algorithmic Theoretical Hypothesis Even As San Francisco Sierra Emergency Declared

       Sunday, 25 August 2013, FT. LAUDERDALE, FL - First off readers NO intention to be alarmist here although the above headline would seem justified in light of California stalwart Governor Jerry Brown's declaration of an extended State of Emergency in light of an apparent possible water shortage threat posed by San Francisco's Hetch Hetchy Reservoir's proximity to the current Yosemite Sierra Rim fire.
       Alas as of this hour most news seems nevertheless to be emanating from New York via Facebook rather than what might otherwise be expected under the circumstances where presently all remains ostensibly quiet in San Francisco but for the parking meter scooters revving up for the infamous trendsetting Sunday morning early Church service parking sweep.  (Unfair that meter sweep actually now takes place on Sunday afternoons to the delight of all San Francisco shopkeepers in the Nation's only city where so many people see things so much more alike than the rest of the Country yet manage to incessantly argue about every nitpicky detail.)
     In any case the Ninth Amendment editorial staff and news bureaus not currently being informed of any further imminently actual threat to life or limb at the moment have decided to go ahead with the sociological pseudo-semi-scientific study of viral audience readership commenced just hours ago as we have watched the number of readers if not race at least ploddingly circle the globe in our examination of the relative success of substantive reading in comparison to statistical manipulative slight of hand.
     Our insomniac readers no doubt will recall that earlier this evening rather than focus on the latest slew of keywords, megatrends, algorithms and the like the Ninth Amendment instead decided to just go ahead and electronically publish some content that was arguably written in some sort of English hastily edited derivative rather "fair comment" material derived from "The Private Investigator's Handbook" copyright 2005 Chuck Chambers P.I. So as not to risk creating too much commotion with unknown events perhaps still unfolding we indeed shall stick to the perhaps predominantly (but not necessarily) male-oriented topic of "tailing the mark" as our readers will recall.
       And here offered as fair comment again without any compensation or other remuneration whatsoever is the Ninth Amendment's continuing recommendation of Mr. Chamber's work as stated by the Private Investigator himself under the topic "Tailing Tactics":
     "From your vantage point of two car lengths back, grit your teeth as your mark drives right past the gym where they claimed to be working out every morning. So where is the bastard going? You have to follow to find out. Here are some basic tactics for tailing with a car:

     o   Two-lane road: Remain at least two car lengths behind.

     o   Four-lane road: Travel in the lane beside the target, either right or left but not behind them.          Ninety percent of drivers who are suspicious of being following or feeling guilty about their destination will check the center rearview mirror as opposed to the sidemirrors. They are generally concerned with the car immediately to their rear.

     o  Approaching an intersection: Change lanes to move temporarily behind the mark in case they decide to make a turn. If the target doesn't turn, move back to the side lane.

     o  Congested traffic:  Remain two car lengths behind in the side lane.

     o  Thinning traffic patterns: Drop back three or four lengths.

     o   Dead end. If the mark turns down a dead-end street, do not follow them! If your target made a wrong turn, he or she will most certainly see you on the way out, as you were traveling in. If it turns out that your target doesn't come back, the mystery destination may be down that street. You'll know soon enough when the mark's car doesn't come back out."

     So readers we thank Mr. Chambers for the rather lengthy quote offered as fair comment with the assurance that if this type of occupation is up one's alley (as it were) this is the best example one can get of the type of material and writing to expect in this book, and should readers decide to acquire it on their own we have in fact borrowed but a most small fraction of the text to give readers the flavor and quality of Private Investigator Chambers work and writing. All in all we recommend the Handbook as an interesting indeed fascinating at points read regardless of one's precise stake in the outcome of the maneuvering described in such detail. Their is something admittedly for us intriguing and engaging both in the author's voice and in the sociological phenomena revealed in the daily pursuits of the well-heeled Private Investigator.
     And so back to our statistics from which we will be sure to report the type of audience response this follow-up post engenders which admittedly we find a refreshing change from endless tomes on such topics as the vagaries of search engine optimization (SEO) and so on. In any case wishing our readers all the best until the next post and our heartfelt thanks for readers (hopefully) continuing interest in the Ninth Amendment Log. We do have a target ahead in our sites as well, as it were, and we shall see. . . .

Copyright 2013 Big M All World Rights Expressly Reserved (no claim as to copyrighted material)
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  

05 February 2013

San Francisco Smilin' Lyin' Perjurer Mayor Ed Lee Prepares To Step Down And Pack For Prison

     Tuesday, 5 February 2013, SAN FRANCISCO - San Francisco Mayor Ed Lee himself will finally be headed for prison our sources in San Francisco municipal building maintenance services report for committing perjury last summer. Lyin' Lee who almost beat the perjury rap by a supposed false bomb threat telephoned in just as Lee began forgetting his lines on the stand can expect to be escorted in handcuffs by his favorite San Francisco Sheriff Mirkarimi whom Lee selflessly has devoted more than his past year in office to battling while continuing San Francisco's city traditions of never picking up the garbage, supporting the City's growing deficit budget entirely on parking infractions more obscure and voluminous than any others known in history (now including the introduction of Sunday metered parking to help alienate churchgoers and all the small businesses of the city), and keeping up city workers cost of living increases at about ten times the rest of the world's and who unlike the mayor and city council actually get something done other than play musical chairs before if they are lucky heading off to lead this great Nation back in the Beltway..
     Some of the most comically notorious, but also tragically horrible as in the case of former Supervisor Dan White who stepped far out of his former job description in 1978 to fire off several rounds from his carefully prepared former police service revolver to shoot both Mayor George Moscone and former fellow Supervisor Harvey Milk in the head before serving three years for involuntary manslaughter by reason of Twinkies derangement only to return to San Francisco to commit suicide in his garage, have been San Francisco's municipal ("MUNI") bus drivers.
     In San Francisco it barely goes noted when other city workers perhaps some of the most colorful being bus drivers paid at overtime, vacation, and mental breakdown pay of about ten times everyone else's cost-of-living increases nevertheless enjoy the privilege of inexplicable absences including those known to begin right in the middle of shifts allowing drivers to abandon while singing to themselves moving buses several blocks off-route full of riders and need not return to work to explain such frequent odd occurrences for several work days following to dry out almost always without repercussion as well as desperate pleading by the City for several days amidst assurances that their absence will certainly accrue to sick and all others of the dozens of types of "leave" they enjoy before they retire rich with plenty of years left still to spend traveling the world (in their own Muni bus if desired!).
     But you read it here first in the Ninth Amendment log your one real source of news, former San Francisco Mayor Ed Lee will at least have to delay that world tour for a few years while he spends them instead doing time for perjury committed right on the stand of a San Francisco City Hall hearing last summer. The petition for Lyin' Mayor Lee's recall already is circulating on Change.org..

Copyright 2013 Big M All World Rights Expressly Reserved