John "He Da Bones" Boehner $6 Million Bribes Net Worth Shutdown Hero Extraordinaire At First Press Brief Since Republican Sh*tslide Scolds National Press Dismissing GOP Freshmen And All Tea Partiers As Bunch Of Moronic Idiots Poses Defense That "We Buy A Couple OK Ones" And Lurches Off Stage To Inhale More Solvents And BP Extra Leaded With A Chivas Chaser

       Friday, 7 November 2014, WASHINGTON, D.C. - John Boehner Republican ("4 Dead In O-HI-O") $6 Million net worth (all bribes not government pay) Non-Speaker of the House of Non-Representatives and self-appointed chief do-nothing of the do-nothing Republican oligarchy of anti-Democratic vote suppressors today held his first hungover extra grouchy press conference with coffee hold the nail polish where he took the opportunity to chastise members of the national Press Corps as if they were even stupider if such a thing were possible than the herd of morons the GOP bought into Congress and "Da Bones" were the school vice-principal who drank way too much which he probably does but only when awake and is perpetually hungover and/or drunk or both perhaps inhaling solvents to help keep himself "even" and his GOP Tea Partiers perpetually inactive but still saying moronic things and from shaking too badly with mindless enthusiasm. Just your luck the way your Koch Brudders (and going fracking your mudda too) pay for them. Cross-eyed and brainless.

       GOP John "He Da Bones" Boehner the Six-Million-Dollar (does not buy what it used to -- just a month's worth of booze) slurred his wasted mind and spent no time immediately wasting the rest of the Nation's and the first of the next two years too doing nothing therefore ("a-ha") paying no taxes if he has the GOP way unless something really happens (and President Obama has to take care of it or we are all finished for sure) "Da Bones" sternly telling the Press Corps who all were thinking of quitting by this point all the things the GOP looked forward to not accomplishing as President Obama he "Da Bones" no doubt expected as "Da Bones" charged that darn Obama would just go out on his own and "try to get some guv'ment done".
       On Press Corps members continuing to chide him past his thirty-second breaking point asking how he could in good conscience or any at all feel leading such a bunch of yet more idiot losers in the House of Non-Representatives "da Bones" was quick to point out that "we bought a couple weren't that bad" with which he asserted "we even bought a black one to run from Texas" with which he lurched out of the press conference without even a parting word presumably to go inhale a rag of gasoline and chase it down with a tumbler of Chivas and another snort of BP extra leaded "Gulf Special". 

       "Da Bones" guy look so angry at having had all that hope for himself and now just all that money and nothing to do such that it seems unlikely he even will make it a week before trading his tea for some paint thinner. "Four dead in O-HI-O." Reportedly however the poor head of Progress Texas lost it already so those Dem-o-cats did beat "Da Bones" in any case to it insofar as he has any mind left to lose at this point. And a toast of BP extra leaded to the U.S. Supreme Court and a double for GOP-star Thomas but none for the ladies thank you very much. It is only a job well done Italian marble palace of the one-night decision sans reasoning or if its a Bush no counting please.

Copyright 2014 Martin P. All World Rights Expressly Reserved

CREDO Phone Service Save Money Get Your Full Cash Credit Switch Back From ATT And Verizon Contract Hell, Plus Stop Readers' Payments Funding Senator Superstupid Ted Cruz "Tea Party" Titantic Plus All Giant ATT And Verizon Giveaways

       Friday, 4 Octobeer 2013, WASHINGTON, D.C. -  Superstupid Senator Ted Cruz (R- Texas, surprise, surprise)  what more perfect de facto voice of that awesome phenomenon in the United States come to be known as the "Tea Party". The name evokes richly textured small-town communities of mostly more mature thoughtful women discussing topics in knitting circles with others they may have known for decades, not to mention of course the seminal American historical Revolutionary event which started the United States on its long and hard-fought road to independence.
       Only fitting that Cruzian "Tea Partiers" of today distort that essential foundation of our Nation's history to debase it to a series of meaningless noisemaker events worthy of nothing more than the decimation of a collapsing country. Only this country to be rendered once again into the Republicans' timelessly failed recipe for repeated homeland economic disasters a la "Apocalypse Now", copyright the Doors, is our own fault.
       As usual the big-slime corporate donors want readers wrongly to believe "they are helpless" but to keep dumping money in the coffers of social pariahs like ATT and Verizon busy using confused callers perpetually extending "contract fees" (i.e. their latest consumer ripoffs) vying for those coveted front tables at the latest iteration of their "Tea Party" luncheon where they can sit just feet (oh boy!) from the Superstupid Tea Partier Supreme (yesterday dragged from the House of Reprsentatives because he did not know which house of Congress to which he belonged blabbing his phony filibuster). Sentaor Cruz may have his no doubt gathering henchman explain to him who is giving what so that it is easier to keep it straight on "payback" day, which in the Republican spirit unabashedly was cemented by former movie star and poster child for the disadvantaged Ronald Reagan.
       As best we recall before his Presidential inauguration speech had even begun Reagan's staff already had started working the front rows assuring luminaries such as then Searle President ("Pigheart") Cheney that that pesky aspartame ruling (causes brain cancer, does not everything?) would be reversed as soon as "Big Ron" could be taught to sign (no, NOT PRINT) his name to the orders to the FDA Administrator. No need to wait even until the Administrator could be replaced with someone more "enlightened", or should we say "encumbered" with the famous Cheney signature pallets of crisp new stacks of $100 bills straight from the mint press to the helipad do NOT pass time-consuming bill serial number recording.
       Speaking of brain cancer why not FINALLY ALREADY turn our attention back to today and the selfless generosity of ATT and Verizon wireless extended to the "Tea Party" morons and most of all their self-styled brainless leader Senator Ted Cruz, hear the tea spoons clanking around in his empty noggin?). The link below will help fill in those "interested" (or shall we just say "thoroughly nauseated" readers) with fascinating key participation of these well-practiced sleight-of-contract cellphone grifters ATT and Verizon whom we might thank our lucky stars do not get in the automobile sales, leasing and repair business (as far as we know, that is) were we not reasonably confident that they left no stone unturned getting a hand in EVERYONE's pocket except maybe in those countries which do not yet have pockets.
       The reported facts are presented in the CREDO cellular service advertisement set out below but are worthy of brief empahsis here. CREDO by the way is the modern-day mobile iteration of Working Assets which was the pioneer in social activism amongst long-distance landline carriers which monthly let its callers make free long-distance telephone calls directly to provided direct-dial numbers of callers representatives in Washington.
       The Ninth Amendment log does not take any money or remuneration whatsoever for any commercial interest that we on a unanimous vote of the editorial board believe worth of presenting in the body of a post. We have never spoken or communicated in any way with any such entity when we have made recommendations solely on the basis of our own observations and opinions. Likewise no guarantees, although we try to be sparing with only those recommendations we deem most worthy of mention in hopes that they may raise readers knowledge base and standard of living as better, more broadly informed consumers. The Ninth Amendment does not however exercise any control over advertisements in the borders of this log chosen through an auction process by Google adsense, and on which we give no input. Readers are encouraged as always to do their own research. For allegedly untracked and unrecorded queries on subjects with a secure connection when available the Ninth Amendment frequently does "searches" with qrobe.it (HTTPS) which is so described by Mozilla.org for its Firefox browser as an additional search engine which can be added to the drop-down search box list by going to the term "Manage Search Engines" after which point it remains available on the drop-down list. The link below the CREDO notice contains the terms of the CREDO mobile offer.

Copyright 2014 Big M All World Rights Expressly Reserved (no claim to CREDO material)

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Did your phone company fund faux-filibusterer and shutdown mastermind Ted Cruz? Senator Ted Cruz is the ringleader of the current government shutdown—taking millions of Americans hostage in an attempt to thwart the will of voters in the 2012 election by defunding or delaying Obamacare. He even sought to thwart the will of his fellow senators by staging a rambling 21-hour faux-filibuster when he couldn't get enough colleagues to join a real filibuster. Thanks to the shutdown, more than 2 million federal workers won't get paid on time—and 800,000 furloughed employees may never get paid for the shutdown period. The CDC has halted its flu program, just as flu season kicks into gear. National parks have closed, which is expected to cause the communities around them to lose an estimated $30 million a day. If the shutdown lasts more than a few weeks, millions of veterans may not get their disability claims or pension payments, and low-income pregnant women and new moms may stop getting the help they need to buy healthy food for their families. And who helped Mr. Cruz go to Washington? Verizon Wireless and AT&T. Both telecom giants contributed thousands of dollars to his 2012 Senate campaign. On top of that, Verizon has contributed $220,600 and AT&T a whopping $1,093,000 since 2009 to members of the House and Senate Tea Party Caucuses, who have pushed Republicans in Congress to hostage-taking extremism. At CREDO, we don't fund radical right politicians like Ted Cruz—we fight them. We fight through our powerhouse network of 3 million activists at CREDO Action. Over the past week, we rallied more than 13,000 of our activists to call Republicans and demand that they vote against the shutdown. And another 9,000 called Democrats, urging them not to cave to outrageous Republican demands. We also donate millions of dollars each year to nonprofit groups working for progressive change. Since 1985, we've raised $75 million for groups like Planned Parenthood, Democracy Now! and 350.org. The more members we have, the harder we can fight back against extremists like Ted Cruz. Join the fight. Make the switch to CREDO Mobile by October 11, and get everything you expect from a mobile phone company—and a whole lot more:* 25% off your monthly data plan fee for two years A contract buyout credit up to $350 True unlimited data (unlike those other carriers that throttle your speed) Calls made from the U.S. to Canada and Mexico at no extra charge No contract for 30 days** FREE shipping of your phone(s) The ability to keep your current phone number CREDO network services provided on the Nationwide Sprint® Network† Donations to progressive groups like Planned Parenthood, Democracy Now! and 350.org—at no extra cost to you Call 877-346-0516 and mention special offer code 318145 or join online today. Offer expires October 11, 2013.

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BREAKING NEWS MANHATTAN: U.S. Drone Reportedly Crashes In Manhattan (After Government Gas Runs Out) Picked Up By Curious Bystander Who Examines Photocard

       Thursday, 3 October 2013, MANHATTAN- CBS Television News reported that just over SEVENTEEN HOURS AGO, when mostly freshman United States Representatives and their idiot House loser leader Boehner along with lost Senate Republican freshman prodigy Ted Cruz (no known relation to the actor) cut of the money for all Americans' headwear just as flu season started, cut off the temporary funds to keep the government afloat with temporary money, and forced the entire United States to stop work and defer paying millions of its Federal employees sending most of them home with no pay for the coming weeks. The Congress is not believed to have chosen to do the same to itself. Meanwhile as we prepared for press reports began coming in from CBS-TV news in New York that a (nonexistent) drone has crashed on a busy street (are they not all) in Manhattan? No government gas.
       Except the really important adolescents who work for the National Security Agencies and those who pack lox lunches and dinners for the generally heavier old Republicans before they go home and pat themselves on the back, Senator Cruz reportedly was either delirious or under the influence of borderline "brain death". Not unlike his beloved protege lame duck Texas "Village Idiot" Rick "Payback" Perry had been at the now infamous Republican nationally televised "Perry brain freeze". Whatever the case Cruz is a Senator with high hopes in the Republican party for carrying the mantle of the "Tea Party Republicans" boldly into the fully forseeable budget disaster which awaits us all.
       Although frugal California Governor Jerry Brown has not ever even been known to set foot in his "California" limo or mothballed "mansion", Texas Brain Duck Governor George "little shrub" Perry could be seen to once again shed a crocodile tear as Bush gleefully loaded his laser-sighted six shooter with some extra bullets in his mouth for good luck. "Better bullets than bandaids" the really extremely  short Perry reportedly quipped as he accidentally clipped a tree beside his beloved Labrador and sent his bodyguards diving for cover from his errant bullets which could have bought vaccine for a whole clinic.
       As reported here some weeks ago the relatively tiny and shrinking number of Texas "Tea Party" dupes see Perry idiot protege Senator Steve Cruz as the flag bearer of the "Tea Party" mantle that confused ignorant hope for salvation, having squandered earlier money on nonexistent coyote problems and boldly living out the fantasy of the "Tea Party King". (Some of those American Republicans sure do like Kings, like George of England.) They know on which side their toast is dusted.
       So Senator Cruz finally last night had to be physically escorted from the House of Representatives reminded that he is a big Senator now but NOT also a Congressional Republican Representative who does NOT get to vote twice to dump our Nation's living and eating money as might have been expected by this latest disastrous Republican financial "hero of ruin".
       And just the most recent Republican to take the Country down the sewer drain amidst fear, stupidity and recrimination. The most memorable last financial disaster of a sick fear-mongering Republican, well that would of course be just another long-time dope addict's run taking the Country along on the road to financial ruin was Republican star Senator McCarthy. As Cruz quivered wondering what next Mengelian medical research hare-brained scheme Republicans (many of whom are too stupid to marticulate from an accredited United States Law School and in any case not be able to succeed on their medical boards without a good deal of  grease-fillled Republican hand-squeezing).
      At least Senator Cruz can take comfort that he is not the only one in over his had as clearly now after his SECOND totally failed chance to divert further compounding of Republican-created disasters in a totally bad faith disingenuous last minute call unbelievably AGAIN to meet with President Obama TWENTY MINUTES before they lock up the government BOEHNER a COUPLE YEARS LATER STILL WANTS TO BE PLAYING with dredging up decades of yet more new dead old issues in a desperate attempt to run down the clock. The United States does not just have to close up the public restroom here and say, phew! that was a close one.
       And they even try to make the Republicans look like someone's heroes? Who their mothers? Do the Republicans WHO CAN ALWAYS SEE THE DOCTOR WHENEVER THEY WANT really believe that for making sure that the Americans' long ago duly fully legally passed universal health care is further diverted while these Speaker Boehner and fellow turkey Republicans play cock-a-doodle-doo with the real hard-working Americns' need for life and death health care now is going to make them some kind of heroes for thinking up stupid old lies as fast they can to kill off the people who voted for them?
       Now that is over how about a litttle time to go out and get a little cash in the palms, eh eh? Heck, their voters can wait all day in the emergency room for basic medical care (paid for by the State not the Feds mind you readers) for a while longer just like always (and probably catch something far worse while they are waiting in that germ pit.)
       No dice for the hot shot Republicans until after they have gone round and gotten paid off by all their insurance company pals and the people THOSE REPUBLICANS REALLY REPRESENT. We know they will be going to see their doctors in the morning, getting paid their Congressional salaries and honorariums and a little of this and a little of that just a small gift oh just fine, and sitting down for a nice steak dinner for lunch before they go to sleep with a job well -- NOT done. But just that one last thing must be sure to collect the dues BEFORE the pressure is off, right?  Oh yes indeed it is business as usual in the Grand Old Party, just do not get stomped on (or worse) by that big old elephant. . . . . Because we will sure want to see you still when we need next need you.

Copyright 2013 Big M All World Rights Expressly Reserved. No claim to CBS-TV following link.


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