Showing posts with label accurate. Show all posts
Showing posts with label accurate. Show all posts

23 November 2014

Google Breaching Contract Persists In Misreporting To Ninth Amendment Untimely Contradictory Site Performance Statistics Essential To Site Success

       Sunday, 23 November 2014, MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA - As Texas Indicted Idiot lameduck Governor Rick "Payback" Perry continued to call upon someone anyone and everyone to sue United States President Barack Obama for something anything and everything the Ninth Amendment meanwhile seemingly was prevented by interfering parties or circumstances as described in the Ninth Amendment's recent reply to a reader's inquiry as to upcoming articles on the subject of problems experienced with Google-reported Blogger statistics to a publisher such as the Ninth Amendment's site owner. The Ninth Amendment is committed fully to take whatever measures are necessary to assist in the investigation and corrective action required to insure the best possible presentation possible of the Ninth Amendment site to our readers.
       There have been increasingly erratic divergences from what over several years had been this Site's experience with Google's contractually provided ¨accurate up to the minute statistics¨ which figures in the past months repeatedly have proven exponentially less reliable contradictory in their reporting of statistics such as numbers of pageviews depending upon what time period one is examining and then even much more greater discrepancies with Google Analytics.
       Just one more in a long list of new irregularities for now being traffic seemingly reaching the site if at all through constantly changing foreign referring URLS and sites rarely seen before. Today for example for some time the highest referring URL/site address was http://goody498.blog27.fc2.com/ with the referral numbers later dropping. In any case however the fact is that it appears to be Japanese blog or journal of some sort with which the Ninth Amendment has no known  connection whatsoever. (This is not meant as encouragement to readers to go to that address in any way as the Ninth Amendment has no assurance regarding the integrity of the site nor any information as to why it would been refer readers to the Ninth Amendment.)

Copyright 2014 Martin P. All World Rights Expressly Reserved

03 August 2014

GOOGLE aka "KNOWN ISSUES" May Change Name To "GOO-GLITCH" Denotes Multitude Of Faulty Products Once Known To Buyers Simply As "Defective". Please GOO-GLITCH Has No Time To Answer Piddling Questions So Beneath Its Giant Piles Of Cash About KNOWN ISSUES Replaces Nothing Unless One Bought "The Plan" But Please Feel Free To Gnaw In On Our Unpaid "Buddies Circle Jerkle" Best Known Guesses So We Can Sell Your Personal Info ID'ing You Too In "Buddies Circle Jerkle" Social Media

       Sunday, 3 August 2014, MOUNTAIN "OF CASH" VIEW, CALIFORNIA -Well Blogger friends and domestic help are any of you getting nearly as rich as Google yet letting Google aka KNOWN ISSUES data mine your every contact and interest that you were not even sure you had with their relatively recently joined or merely just more encouraged and patted on their heads by (but never yet consciously -- to them -- punished with the old water board) their new best CIA friends who coincidentally almost magically just have found themselves just so very simultaneously as fascinated as Google with every activity in your life. It is all just money to Google whether the information for commercial social media wars and incidental bonuses from the CIA comes in through Blogger+ or the old "sponsored results" that never ever would have happened on so reputably academic a search engine as Google until of course they did.
       So when did Google and the others like Zuckerboy begin to feel so sure they were above the law (probably from a little too much exposure to those charged with enforcing the law against "others") that they for example apparently can claim when they never answer you except in court sell you products which were previously just known as "defective" junk but never anymore return for refund but instead have developed to the point that they have the audacity to tell you they do no even answer phones about defects but just maybe you can "circle buddy" with some of the thousands of others who also have suffered through their so-called "beta" defects and will be happy to commiserate but please just be clear on one thing most importantly which is even if GOO-GLITCH aka KNOWN ISSUES gives those unpaid geeks a few unpaid ribbons everything they come up with is strictly answered on their own behalves and NO KNOWN ISSUES guarantees nothing except any royalties coming from more social media data mining belongs to them (and their CIA partners) alone.
        As for the shared problems new "jerkle buddy circle" users are experiencing while Google is busy designing the next generation of planned obsolescence or rather planned defects in its next generation of products while also figuring out ways to get users (or "used ones") to sign off every detail or access to every detail of jerkle buddy life from birth to death and everything inbetween which is pretty crafty because actually in one's "real" social life whatever that used to be none of these geeks were ever your "friends" and would not have merited another scoff if you caught them trying to chart and graph every aspect of your social life which was so much more interesting to them than their own existence spent with their own best friend the Asteroids machine.
       And you were beginning to think that you were just perhaps nothing but not quite mostly up-to-par "bloggers" raking it in which was after all the original "idea" as advertised was it not although coincidentally or not that was just around the time the NSA, CIA and rest of the national acronym crowd began to give Google perhaps just an inkling of the real value of that "Blogger" sky's the limit up-to-the-minute (very roughly speaking) was perhaps after all not really quite so much the focus of the whole "operation" as might have perhaps a bit more honestly been communicated. No now Google makes a fortune off of your Person+ for which you are not getting a dime except new bunch of "freinds" for your "circle of jerkles".
       In fact that part of the tale after seeing a United States President ELECTED after all and all those heady skirmishes just at the shaky borders of the foundation in the age of "terrible secrets" of the United States Constitution once held so dear by so many well that part of the tale really did not seem so "compelling" nor so "heady" to the ones now become in the know and dining with the spooks outside Mclean that it really may have begun to slip their swimming minds just a bit amidst all these heady developments that there were, well, starting to be what rapidly had become the "cover story" that clearly was not nearly so exciting nor PROFITABLE as some of the other stories.
       Well fellow Bloggers we urge you for the moment not to rush into the Blogger+ deal and spend a bit of time asking yourself whether you really deep down feel some COMPELLING REASON to find yourself sharing yourself and so much of your life with some people who well quite frankly as of just a couple years ago may not have even really known from Adam. Remember when you perhaps wanted to prove yourself personally with a successful bit of writing well-received by an audience which was not "scientifically" determined and placed among your, what, followers?
       We ask for now that you just might wish to collect your thoughts for a bit and not jump into putting that + after your personal "profile" information maybe more so as to release its disclosure from a legal point of view and to take Google forward leaps and bounds in some perhaps new merely greedy direction whereby it might get its hands ASAP on that "social media" information from Facebook and the others if not by some in-kind trade that strengthens it all then some sort of clever tact at getting you to actually feel some sort of eagerness to part with that information you might not ever have even dreamed of with a company in ten short years become larger than General Motors and you really are not even sure why. There is after all no big rush. Except perhaps for when the time comes that we all decide to go after Google itself for fraud, class action, punitive damages, invasion of privacy, psychological manipulation by methods of the always jury-loved cult?
       Yes please friends keep us in mind if your statistics that are promised to be accurate and timely seem increasingly are neither. That all that Adsense and other advertising program money you have heard so much of the old favorite Ronald Reagan "anecdotal evidence of" such as quite amazing riches or financial independence or in any case close to it are not quite coming true for you yet either. But then there is always SO MUCH more new information provided by Google and it is no doubt "well" paid acting agents that may not always make that much sense nor seem that revolutionary, but what the heck after just six or seven years why not give them a chance, ESPECIALLY if you have already started your own business.
       Yes friends we sense a new day dawning and since it is one where both a federal agency or agencies and a very rich company or companies who have indeed demonstrated indeed that they do have VERY DEEP pockets we first of all DISCLAIM ANY SPECIAL LEGAL OR FINANCIAL EXPERTISE IN THIS AREA WHICH YOU MUST SEEK ONLY FROM A DULY LICENSED PROFESSIONAL, but may we suggest that in the meantime we proceed carefully and cautiously keeping as best we can accurate records of what we were promised or APPEARED TO BE and WHAT WE ACTUALLY HAVE OR HAVE APPEARED TO RECEIVE. In the meantime we are keeping a very close watch on whether those pageview numbers which Google has provided with growing inaccuracy as freely can be followed in our posts are keeping up commensurate where historical performance would indicate they should be and with these recent efforts even better perhaps maybe even more so God willing with your support which as you are all too aware costs fellow "bloggers" nothing. Just imagine a million bloggers all standing up for one million other bloggers.
       And should we see those growing numbers of pageviews and ad impressions continuing to grow well then we shall also have very good grounds for examining and ask that KNOWN ISSUE is being especially diligent and careful about reporting them completely and timely as that after all was to be at least what is appearing to us as what may be for all of us who choose and performed for Google as our part of the bargain and therefore must especially taking care to make sure that we too benefit richly where they have from our own "benefit of the bargain" and also having done so kept us from putting or fortunes with those of so many competitors for our work from whom Google lured us. And make no mistake as for the specifics of each of us, it is each of us who is putting in the work, writing all the feedback and looking for those non-existent Google return letters. Stay strong, read on, and let those of us who continue on this path remember where lies the true path and reward of "mutual support".
       Let GOOGLE have its KNOWN issues fellow Bloggers we shall have our MUTUAL SUPPORT. So pay attention and in the the unforgettable words of Douglas Adams on the cover of The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy "DON'T PANIC". Just keep track of that money GOOGLE owes you from mathematical errors or selling your social media without your permission to sell and soon those + signs will be adding up in your column also. We hope.

Copyright 2014 Martin P. All World Rights Expressly Reserved

21 July 2014

CIA Partner Google Blogger Statistic Failures Past Year Habitually Grossly Under-Report Ninth Amendment Site Performance Data With Google Now Reporting Misinformation Six Plus Hours Daily

       Monday, 21 July 2014, MOUNTAIN VIEW, CALIFORNIA - The Ninth Amendment log now has published three hundred and forty finalized posts continuously for seven years with this same site URL addresss from the same Mountain View, California located IP address including the "blogspot" domain root registered for Google "Blogger" sites. Google for several years has encouraged "blog publishers" despite assurances that publishers' sites "blogspot"-based URLs will be maintained by and never interrupted by Google that publishers also consider registering the independent unique component of their site names themselves without using the blogspot domain with which the sites were established by the publishers from the start of their "Blogger"-based relationship with Google.
       Google facilitates re-directing independent sites so that they still apparently without undue complication can continue uninterrupted along with Google the benefits of the blogspot relationship including blogspot site support including timely accurate statistical reporting and continued conforming participation as accepted into the Google "Adsense" campaign and other more recent affiliated advertising programs. Google however which earlier further facilitated this process by itself directly selling domain names listing itself with about ten other major domain name vendors has since withdrawn itself from the list encouraging publishers to use one of the other recommended reliable domain name vendors such as godaddy.com for issuance of the publishers' unique domain name currently used in combination with "blogspot".
       Readers with but a brief Google engine search of the word "blogger" can see for themselves that "blogger" has become a very heavily promoted full-service blogging tool by Google reflected in part by a great many subjective search results yielded by the Google engine search which readers will readily see describe "blogger" glowingly in positive terms emphasizing supposedly compelling opportunities particularly financially implying even possible financial independence for which sample true video first-person anecdotes are offered particularly for blogs associated with existing or contemporaneously established businesses as well as from the avowed benefits of the "blogger" seamless integration with a broad and greatly expanding range of web and web-enhanced businesses with the advantage of available Google free and paid advice and assistance including through such tools as "Adwords" for smaller and developing businesses with "Google Analytics" available also for businesses tending to be larger.
       Google although it allegedly shares advertising revenue when certain thresholds are reached with blog publishers through its Adsense and other programs has never made available to our knowledge or information to its publishers now reportedly numbering worldwide in the millions any share of the significant value to Google of Blogger goodwill, the value of demographic and other experiential information collected through the Blogger program, the value of the very heavily promoted Blogger+ program supposedly related primarily to blogging but actually most significantly valued by Google apparently as its grand entree into the by far most lucrative social media area all of which value is in no way to be shared with the publishers in the Blogger+ program although it is estimated to be far more valuable to Google through the vast collection of demographic information including of individuals and groups more or less manufactured by Google and encouraging such things as so-called "circles of friends" never even before know by participants altogether purporting to offer vastly more constantly Google-emphasized benefits including vague claims to offer far more unclear unexplained financial benefits than the original Blogger program apparently relying heavily on implied promises of, inter alia, readers' endorsements somehow without explanation including greatly increased advertising revenues.
       It soon became apparent that Google was not beyond more or less tricking non-Blogger+ participants into joining the program through the click of a button because of apparently intentionally confusing references to things such as profiles and other tangential elements of the Blogger program which really offered little greater financial advantage to participants but undisclosed apparently significant benefits to Google which seemingly given the repeated focus on Blogger+ were most valuable to Google which clearly was making no effort to share at any point any of the substantial real value of its surreptitious made-to-order social media behemoth benefiting from basically trafficking in the personal and private information of its long-time Blogger participants. This served to highlight that the long-term undercurrent of the Google Blogger partnership with publishers was not partnership at all since it clearly had been developed on the premise that almost all the benefits would run to Google and would only continue to do so in either greater amounts. This is why hard-working publishers focused on creating truly high quality material were rewarded like the Ninth Amendment with basically nothing (but advice from other participants in the Google program which cost Google absolutely nothing as Google itself grew notorious for never even responding but once in a blue moon to any queries of its millions of publishers thus costing Google next to nothing) while Google amassed a fortune in a matter of a couple decades to rival the great industrial giants of American business enterprise such as General Motors. If Google could have one word to describe the value on the Blogger+ relationships it supposedly celebrated Google's intentions as a "friend" in a circle of friends could only be described as despicable.
       Publishers are encouraged to communicate via solely via Google groups with minimum interference with Google personnel presumably counting their fortunes to determine at how young an age they might retire including as to publishers basically just giving to Google what could turn out to be most valuable strategies for the most dubious honor of participating in or taking part in or more accurately being taken by the Blogger+ social media program which has been promoted by Google not without a significant degree of challenge it is conjectured due to Google's less than fully honest approach to the purposes of and the totally confusing and basically largely nonsensical spectrum of different tactics Google uses to try to bring uninterested blogger participants into the Blogger+ program in order to access their personal information without their necessarily informed consent accompanied by warnings or rather more accurately vague threats of apparently potentially serious but actually just somewhat confusing consequences for those who no longer wished to participate any longer after joining in the Blogger+ program.
       Such conduct by Google therefore would some might conjecture make any purported agreements including those purporting to incorporate the non-sharing or failure of distribution of potentially huge profits from the collection of vast amounts of personal information to participants unenforceable for several reasons which by simple lay persons might reasonably be seen as fundamentally fraudulent conspiracies among other things also believe possibly may include affirmative defenses of unclean hands and laches for emphasizing what are really minimal benefits to participants while downplaying or altogether neglecting to mention or even provide any information as to the tremendous profits potentially to be gained from the great multitude of Blogger+ relationships established by Google for the unstated purpose of using existing relationships to become competitive in the hugely profitable area of "social media" players such as Facebook, Yahoo, LinkedIn and so many others.
       This would be consistent with the larger evolution of Google from what was originally introduced to the world as an academically driven internet entrant to yet another internet behemoth arguably driven first and foremost by profit or perhaps more accurately greed fueled in many cases by the unsuspecting participants in its ever-expanding endeavors using the human capital of basically unknowing and unconsenting participants giving up private and personal information through Google's basically disguised endeavors much like those of, for example, of what have become some of the world's other richest corporations which but for their relationships with for example the CIA and other "national security" agencies who benefit greatly from their information collection may well be poster children for antitrust and privacy invasion actions such as has been demonstrated by hugely costly rulings against the likes of Facebook and Google by European regulators or in the case of Google the European Union's highest court of last resort.
       This court's far-reaching reputation links privacy ruling Google's attorneys curiously failed to comment on because they had "not yet reviewed the decision" which seems a somewhat disingenuous response given that the ruling of a "court of last resort" is subject neither to rehearing nor to any appeal whatsoever since there is no higher court. It is in other words "Final" thus the moniker "Court of Last Resort". Hopefully Google did not have to pay too much for outside counsel that was capable of responding with a straight face to such decisions that it could not comment on their impact on Google since counsel had not yet had the opportunity to review them. Those legal fees after all could have gone to hard-working "bloggers" or unknowing new members of "Blogger+" to compensate them for their personal information they did not know was being collected and no doubt added to Google's bottom line.
       Persons familiar with the origins of Google in its formative pre-beta stages we vaguely recall to be reported to be the revolutionary brainchild of an MIT professor and developed there by him with some of his MIT students its unique brilliance that it ranked results on the basis of supposedly objective URL-to-URL links promising to give users an unparalleled purity of results not sullied by the rank corruption of secret payoffs, other not so obviously manipulated but reflecting equally crass commercial objectives nor the product of more refined manipulation (now blossomed into an apparently fully legitimate industry of "search engine optimization" accompanied by checklists of sequential steps one takes manually or with computer assistance entering URLs into various directories and totally distorting through "backlinks" for trade and sale the long-discarded original elegant Google concept) by computer hacks skewing search results through more obscured techniques nevertheless delivering equally tainted results in an search result environment where pagerank has long become synonymous with dollars.
       Conceptualization of these practices as the modern variation of starting one's business name with a long series of the letter "A" for purposes solely of telephone business page top position placement helps remove some of the "computer IT" mystery to help understand such practices as are being employed to "coax" desired commercial results from search engines. Interested readers are referred to other sources as close as the Wikepedia box to the lower right due to the Ninth Amendment's admitted lack of detailed knowledge and unavailability of its limited resources to more fully research the nascent Google and its subsequent history as being the tale of one more most desirable top academic institution's darling of The New York Times and The Wall Street Journal that was priceless to what might ever be bought from a PR firm or advertising agency or it had to be Reputation.com crafting what one would have the world believe one is rather than what one actually has become.
        Presumably even Reputation.com after it deletes all one's bad news must have at least some small tatters of arguably good or at least neutral news left to which some modest shreds can be attached as to one's remaining personality and character, although alternatively there may be other "Reputation Plans" available for more difficult cases such as (1) creating large numbers of potential positive entries that might be reasonably successful in systematically establishing a somewhat better reputation such as for example in the case of Texas Governor Rick Perry upping his charitable church contributions a couple years back when he "earned" a reported $1 million as Governor from $80 to $90, to (2) taking bad entries that otherwise are not susceptible to being scrubbed and having them attributed to as an as unyet unacknowledged minor child whose parents might be amenable to a modest payment for having their name legally changed to your own but followed by a "Junior", "II" , or "III" (the second perhaps being preferable as more broadly susceptible to confusion and the third perchance even more desirable as even more susceptible to confusion) followed by having some keepers of records and so on contacted and not trying to shirk "reputation responsibility" but "come clean" and have one's name corrected to the "Junior", "II", or "III" as the case may be, and finally (3) having one's name legally changed to someone other party's name (but not "identity" as that might probably be illegal though maybe not if they are deceased and done using their identity), or having one's name changed to a new one that they have made up altogether.
       We have seriously digressed here which will very soon be remedied as the reason reputations come to mind so readily with Google is that everything Google now does for all appearances is completely antithetical to all the principles for which it was claimed that Google would stand in stark contrast to the increasingly commercial and privacy invasive computer and spy world Google was in fact entering. Google's true colors however soon came out as at the top and side of its results soon appeared those highlighting results that were "sponsored" by payments to Google rather than "linked" by their usefulness to people. Contrary to the high principles which it claimed to embrace with its use of links for results positioning to the contrary Google became associated with all sorts of efforts to achieve high rank by parties willing to spend money to do do and rumors of algorithms and different techniques for achieving high ranks on Google searches became all the commercial rage with former Google employees widely known to hire themselves out for just that purpose. All sorts of enterprises were born devoted to one's achieving the highest Google position possible with no regard whatsoever for the actual quality or value of a site to users, nor in many cases even it use of the English language or the quality of its writing.
       As Google expanded from its search engine beginnings it became the antithesis of all for which it once claimed to stand. Its goal rapidly developed into misusing the information available to it through its search engine to collect ALL information on its users searches, keeping a permanent record of them, and it shortly had joined in the competition to become yet another internet behemoth increasing its value by using new methods of compiling ever more information on its users with legal notices that came out in such excruciating detail and with such rapidity that like Facebook it was collecting information at and beyond the very limits of what was permissible at the same time starting to emulate the megalomania of the ever stranger head of Facebook rumored CIA tool Zuckerboy who developed fascinations in no time worthy of J. Edgar Hoover.
       Zuckerboy compiled information on his "social media" site using facial recognition technology and any new twisted idea which came to mind to gather more information of what once purported to be nothing more than a friendly facilitator of social interaction but in fact became a cataloger of persons from around the globe with an unhealthy interest in connecting their recognition physically to their name to their contacts to their hobbies to "what was on their mind". Facebook made so much money that billion dollar fines from European regulators outraged at Zuckerboy's invasions of their privacy were hardly even noticed by him, an were probably reimbursed anyway by American taxpayers through the CIA's or some similar outfit's black ops budget. Perhaps Facebook even had its own.
       Google having long before abandoned all its higher principles kept its innocent-seeming goofiness in its name alone. Not to be outdone by Facebook Google soon found that it sound had a secret investor in the CIA through a front company in the NYSE. Later all pretense was merely set aside and the CIA just openly invested with Google in a joint venture. Google and CIA built data storage facilities adjacent to one another, it being clear that Google's rapacious gathering of information through the required entering by its users of one I.D. for all its acquisitions, its collection of all information legally possible on it users, and in fact everything it did now being directed to collecting ever more information on individuals and metadata on everything was the C.I.A., F.B.I., N.S.A. and all the others of the rapidly growing number of "National Security" outfits now numbering probably between fifteen and twenty dream come true.
       What the State outfits could not legally access or collect they could barely believe their luck in having Americans grown up to believe in a government that followed the law and the U.S. Constitution now willing to go forward with whatever they could get anyone to sign off on their using. And the use of private counterparts such as Facebook using facial recognition technology and Google actually mapping and invading the premises by camera of nearly every house on the earth through open windows and from above was like their dream come true.
       What possible legitimate reason could private outfits like Google and Facebook have for this massive invasion of privacy without subjects consent and/or explained in such a way as to be as incomprehensible as adhesion insurance contracts thrown out by the courts years ago. Enough of today's digression and we shall wrap back around to Blogger. Blogger perhaps once of somewhat innocent intentions certainly no longer is that. Every other new appearance on a Blogger or Google screen is yet another attempt to trick a person without their informed consent of signing on for Blogger+ as Google is just so eager to have another route of invasion to person's private lives. It has very little to nothing to producing a blog of quality. It has everything to do with endless promises of meaningless advantages to signing on, sharing more information with Google, identifying circles of friends, or rather creating them as Google takes it upon itself to do far more than keep meaningless records of all its users do, it clearly would like to control what they do, to tell them who their friends are, to use any deceptive device at its disposal to get more persons to sign on to enable them to do basically do nothing except make it that much easier for Google to get every last bit of information about the lives of those who use Google. Google thirsts for "social media" privacy invasion that can rival Facebook's.
       Soon Google will have to be left behind for those who are not tools of the CIA and all their law-breaking friends. In the meantime Google at least with this site's blogger statistics is blazing the path for misinformation, disinformation, and in seven years has never responded to a single feedback message sent from this site. And how much has this site collected having been long ago accepted to Adsense, Amazon and other affiliate program"900s? This site's publisher has in seven years not yet received its first advertising paymemt. So in any case Google one might think Google could supply those site performance statistics in something close to real time. Half a day late and confusing Albania for Argentina just does not cut it when you are playing with the Big Boys.
       Keep that up and in no time the CIA will have you preparing the final reports for the President on the presence of WMDs. Or maybe the next nuclear missile silo exercise gone awry in Nebraska. You have to prove yourself worthy Google even if you do have a satellite map of the whole earth, a picture taken from 360 degrees outside every person's house in the world, a record of everyone's last five thousand Google searches, copies of all their private pictures and family photo albums, and a list of the everything they have watched and listened to on YouTube since Google bought it, next thing you know the CIA will ask you to keep a record for them of every number called and kept on everyone's Android phone because the Supreme Court told the CIA and the NSA you know even this Court must draw the line somewhere therefore that is not allowed, especially so long as Mr. Justice Thomas is on the bench with his suspected propensity for "900" numbers.

Copyright 2014 Martin P. All World Rights Expressly Reserved

21 June 2014

The Ninth Amendment Editorial Board Requests Developers Or Readers Please Reflect Upon Whether Google Were "Servicing" Their Commercial , Institutional or Personal Website Or Blog Readers Or Developers Or Readers Would Find Statistical Reporting On The Google-Supported Site Such As That Below To Be Either Helpful, Confidence Inspiring Or Believable In Terms Of Google's Capacity For Timeliness, Truthfulness And/Or Accuracy?

Graph of Blogger page views
Pageviews today
103
Pageviews yesterday
102
Pageviews last month
1,548
Pageviews all time history
34,489
Don't track your own pageviews

     











       Saturday, 21 June 2014, MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA - Another workday dawns at 1600 hours West Coast time for the hard-working Google former grade-school hackers turned gainfully employed computer specialists, social media provocateurs, disinformation statisticians, airwave toxicologists (why not?), national security analysts  and others desperately speed dialing, tapping into phone lines and/or drone eavesdropping on the VIP rooms of last evening all-night rave clubs to casually inquire if they might locate that prototype "Summer of Love"  necklace they accidentally wore home featuring the new microcomputer application and style statement cabinetry that Google was under contract to build for the CIA to turn those Androids disguised as love beads into combination antibiotic-sickened farm animal video games with TrueSmell,military-grade GPS drone "Swing Low Sweet Chariot" targeting systems, tiny little decapitation "Peace Sign" grenade beads, high-end MP3 players with professional quality headphones featuring improved Dr. Dre SuperBeatBass now producing sound out of both the left and right channels simultaneously, and of course pirated Samsung smartypantsphones with Google satellite-quality cameras and  Walgreen's long-range SuperSnoop microphones for HackerChat all of which is designed to blow up in a "smallish" simulated pyrotechnical explosion capable of leveling one square city block down to a depth of 300 feet beneath Manhattan's granite bedrock if not recovered and disarmed (important "two-step" bothersome but important "two-step" verification required) by Google child geniuses within twelve hours of reported "MOP" (misplacement of prototype) but if not featuring minimal collateral damage by first playing the chorus of the Village People's "Y-M-C-A" amplified at roughly the decibel level of the area behind an unpiloted F-35's (because all fighter pilots refuse to fly them as pilots stubbornly insist that flying while unconscious is inherently unsafe) jet engine firing up for lift-off from the George Herbert Walker Bush aircraft carrier.
       Then sometime after all those loose ends are tied up from the previous "day's" activities some intern might be sent to read the bloggers, website owners and that crowd's usual couple million worldwide complaints about "known issues" and try a quick "workaround" until it is time for the gang to head off to the next houseparty. In any case the Ninth Amendment is not presently in a position to determine if statistics as graphed above have any basis in reality whatever that is, but as their somewhat obvious irregular rhythms have come to characterize Google's daily reported statistics for the site the Ninth Amendment Editorial Board has developed a certain amount of curiosity as to whether others may be having similar experiences with Google as late and if so wishes to encourage them to lay it on that "Send feedback" to Google invitation at the bottom of the screen..

Copyright 2014 Martin P. All World Rights Expressly Reserved