Governor Perry May Be Texas' Longest-Running Governor

June 16, 2010, AUSTIN - Should Texas Governor Perry beat Democratic contender Bill White in next November's general election for Texas Governor, Mr. Perry may be Texas' longest sitting Governor ever. As to whether this is actually true, no one is really sure, since Texas has maintained no historical records except its slaughter by the Mexicans at the Alamo, and no information is available about the State before 1955. All historical records were destroyed pursuant to an earlier joint Governor Bush / Central Intelligence Agency directive in the mid-1950's.
Governor Perry, loved the country over for his ability to kill coyotes and maintain a state with the worst air pollution, worst education, highest prison and death rates in the nation, also is adamant in his threats that the Great State of Texas may secede from the United States at any point since "the Federal Government keeps trying to tell him what to do." For example, to follow federal laws, educate his population above the level of pure ignorance, offer aid to the poor, or do anything which confuses Governor Perry as to what the Great Lone Star Republic truly represents despite its apparent location in the United States of America.
Should Mr. Perry actually move to secede Texas from the United States pursuant to some arcane reading of the U.S. Constitution (as Governor Perry allegedly can read at least at a third-grade level), Mexico would be expected to overrun the border and annex Texas, which belonged to Mexico in the first place, in about two hours.
Should Mr. Perry end up in prison in Texas, he will find himself luckily in a state where complete lack of any mental competence is no bar to execution. In the meantime, Mr. Pery can enjoy spending time in Texas prisons which are first in the nation for same-sex prisoner rapes.

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