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Saturday, 21 June 2014, MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA - Another workday dawns at 1600 hours West Coast time for the hard-working Google former grade-school hackers turned gainfully employed computer specialists, social media provocateurs, disinformation statisticians, airwave toxicologists (why not?), national security analysts and others desperately speed dialing, tapping into phone lines and/or drone eavesdropping on the VIP rooms of last evening all-night rave clubs to casually inquire if they might locate that prototype "Summer of Love" necklace they accidentally wore home featuring the new microcomputer application and style statement cabinetry that Google was under contract to build for the CIA to turn those Androids disguised as love beads into combination antibiotic-sickened farm animal video games with TrueSmell,military-grade GPS drone "Swing Low Sweet Chariot" targeting systems, tiny little decapitation "Peace Sign" grenade beads, high-end MP3 players with professional quality headphones featuring improved Dr. Dre SuperBeatBass now producing sound out of both the left and right channels simultaneously, and of course pirated Samsung smartypantsphones with Google satellite-quality cameras and Walgreen's long-range SuperSnoop microphones for HackerChat all of which is designed to blow up in a "smallish" simulated pyrotechnical explosion capable of leveling one square city block down to a depth of 300 feet beneath Manhattan's granite bedrock if not recovered and disarmed (important "two-step" bothersome but important "two-step" verification required) by Google child geniuses within twelve hours of reported "MOP" (misplacement of prototype) but if not featuring minimal collateral damage by first playing the chorus of the Village People's "Y-M-C-A" amplified at roughly the decibel level of the area behind an unpiloted F-35's (because all fighter pilots refuse to fly them as pilots stubbornly insist that flying while unconscious is inherently unsafe) jet engine firing up for lift-off from the George Herbert Walker Bush aircraft carrier.
Then sometime after all those loose ends are tied up from the previous "day's" activities some intern might be sent to read the bloggers, website owners and that crowd's usual couple million worldwide complaints about "known issues" and try a quick "workaround" until it is time for the gang to head off to the next houseparty. In any case the Ninth Amendment is not presently in a position to determine if statistics as graphed above have any basis in reality whatever that is, but as their somewhat obvious irregular rhythms have come to characterize Google's daily reported statistics for the site the Ninth Amendment Editorial Board has developed a certain amount of curiosity as to whether others may be having similar experiences with Google as late and if so wishes to encourage them to lay it on that "Send feedback" to Google invitation at the bottom of the screen..
Copyright 2014 Martin P. All World Rights Expressly Reserved
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