05 February 2013

San Francisco Smilin' Lyin' Perjurer Mayor Ed Lee Prepares To Step Down And Pack For Prison

     Tuesday, 5 February 2013, SAN FRANCISCO - San Francisco Mayor Ed Lee himself will finally be headed for prison our sources in San Francisco municipal building maintenance services report for committing perjury last summer. Lyin' Lee who almost beat the perjury rap by a supposed false bomb threat telephoned in just as Lee began forgetting his lines on the stand can expect to be escorted in handcuffs by his favorite San Francisco Sheriff Mirkarimi whom Lee selflessly has devoted more than his past year in office to battling while continuing San Francisco's city traditions of never picking up the garbage, supporting the City's growing deficit budget entirely on parking infractions more obscure and voluminous than any others known in history (now including the introduction of Sunday metered parking to help alienate churchgoers and all the small businesses of the city), and keeping up city workers cost of living increases at about ten times the rest of the world's and who unlike the mayor and city council actually get something done other than play musical chairs before if they are lucky heading off to lead this great Nation back in the Beltway..
     Some of the most comically notorious, but also tragically horrible as in the case of former Supervisor Dan White who stepped far out of his former job description in 1978 to fire off several rounds from his carefully prepared former police service revolver to shoot both Mayor George Moscone and former fellow Supervisor Harvey Milk in the head before serving three years for involuntary manslaughter by reason of Twinkies derangement only to return to San Francisco to commit suicide in his garage, have been San Francisco's municipal ("MUNI") bus drivers.
     In San Francisco it barely goes noted when other city workers perhaps some of the most colorful being bus drivers paid at overtime, vacation, and mental breakdown pay of about ten times everyone else's cost-of-living increases nevertheless enjoy the privilege of inexplicable absences including those known to begin right in the middle of shifts allowing drivers to abandon while singing to themselves moving buses several blocks off-route full of riders and need not return to work to explain such frequent odd occurrences for several work days following to dry out almost always without repercussion as well as desperate pleading by the City for several days amidst assurances that their absence will certainly accrue to sick and all others of the dozens of types of "leave" they enjoy before they retire rich with plenty of years left still to spend traveling the world (in their own Muni bus if desired!).
     But you read it here first in the Ninth Amendment log your one real source of news, former San Francisco Mayor Ed Lee will at least have to delay that world tour for a few years while he spends them instead doing time for perjury committed right on the stand of a San Francisco City Hall hearing last summer. The petition for Lyin' Mayor Lee's recall already is circulating on Change.org..

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