Monday, 9 July 2013, SEATTLE - In what must be the equivalent of a seven-alarm fire at Microsoft WindowQuarters faithful readers you heard it first HERE on THE NINTH AMENDMENT LOG THAT NEVER SLEEPS. Yes direct from the Windows "Gadget" alert which just came screaming out lighting up the Ninth Amendment's "homefield" 100 yard wide ceiling-mounted plasma computer monitor, anti-gravitational waterbed (with matching Plasma Lava (trademark) lamps gratis) and of course TV screen: (to get the REAL news -- yes they have all lost what was left of their minds (everything, Ha! Ha!) at FOX-TV "where the NEWS beats the facts into submission and IT LOOKS LIKE ROMNEY HAS WON FLORIDA! OR RATHER OHIO! AGAIN! FOR THE SECOND TIME IN ONE NIGHT! AND HE IS NOT WASTING ANY TIME NOR MOaNEY AS HE STRAPS THE FAMILY PETS TO THE ROOF OF THE SUBURBAN FOR THsdfE LONG DRIVE TO THE WHITE HOUSE!).
Faithful readers where it looks like a BIG ONE we encourage a little direct focus on the OFFICIAL SOURCE of SECURITY PATCHED, where Bill Gates "the man" himself actually is pulled feet first straight out of retirement and directly from bed feet first (screaming for his glasses) before a bunch of YA-HOOS possibly assembled far underground somewhere deep in Scandinavia where by Larry Ellison, the ghost of Steve Jobs and whoever makes the most money on Microsoft option "puts" in early trading they watch the WINDOWS BEHEMOTH sputter and spark as the GADGETS come to life like the sleeping soldiers of "The Manchurian Candidate"!
Bill we warned you they would spoil another "grand vision" those creepy sneaky little hackers. They took our happy happy little gadgets, did not follow a SINGLE ONE of the DIRECTIONS, and started them crawling all around inside our financial statements and pictures of the birthday party at the theme park and even Dad's encrypted "Private Affairs" file now heading straight for the CONTROL PANEL and, in the words copyright Frank Zappa, with "newspapers wrapped around their heads" leaving nothing in their wake but a "trail of foam and goo".
Well readers we will not steal all the net space here but do encourage visits to the Microsoft site and/or confirmed authentic destinations of those more knowledgeable whom we are sure will want to check the details with someone who sleeps more BUT GETS LESS NEWS than us. Yes last we recall we were faithfully on our Firefox browser just cranking it up with our seventeen conflicting antivirus antibadware spanking new programs (complete with extra "Express Install" goodies) safely settled in we thought for a couple of hours with all 13,000 updates and plug-ins duly installed before the next round began.
That is it for you little hackers we are gassing up and pulling the ripcords on the Weedeaters (trademark) going straight for the computer cables first to make sure everything is properly and safely unplugged, taking the whole computer out on the bocce court and dousing it with homemade napalm (five parts styrofoam to one part gasoline) with a case of EXTRA BIG SIZE RAID ROACH AND HACKER KILLER. Go get them Bill, go, go, go flying off in your Blackhawk still wearing your PAC-MAN pajamas. Get 'em, BILL, get 'em.
And so not to forget to replace them with their replacement APPs, out in stores EARLY tomorrow along with the GOLD-PLATED EDITION of post-GADGET Windows number De-Luxe (we told you years ago "XP" was not a number -- those letters like "P" are expressly the domain of the pharmaceutical carnival hawkers turned "campaign donors" looking for just one little extension on that patent right there like it says in the Constitution). Anyway, that is a wrap from Ninth Amendment world central. "It is 4 A.M., do you know where your children are?" (Yes, same as always safely upstairs "chatting" on their new certified kids-safe social network "MeanTeen" eyes glued on their monster-screens pretend-hacking our "family computer" with their modified Ataris. . . . ) Just kidding.
Go go go get those nasty GADGETS!!! From the newsroom that never sleeps this has and will be Big M and the entire NINTH AMENDMENT WORLD SUPPORT TEAM -WE NEVER SLEEP, SO YOU CAN TRY! Just work on that bruxism, would you?
Copyright 2013 Big M All World Rights Expressly Reserved
Faithful readers where it looks like a BIG ONE we encourage a little direct focus on the OFFICIAL SOURCE of SECURITY PATCHED, where Bill Gates "the man" himself actually is pulled feet first straight out of retirement and directly from bed feet first (screaming for his glasses) before a bunch of YA-HOOS possibly assembled far underground somewhere deep in Scandinavia where by Larry Ellison, the ghost of Steve Jobs and whoever makes the most money on Microsoft option "puts" in early trading they watch the WINDOWS BEHEMOTH sputter and spark as the GADGETS come to life like the sleeping soldiers of "The Manchurian Candidate"!
Bill we warned you they would spoil another "grand vision" those creepy sneaky little hackers. They took our happy happy little gadgets, did not follow a SINGLE ONE of the DIRECTIONS, and started them crawling all around inside our financial statements and pictures of the birthday party at the theme park and even Dad's encrypted "Private Affairs" file now heading straight for the CONTROL PANEL and, in the words copyright Frank Zappa, with "newspapers wrapped around their heads" leaving nothing in their wake but a "trail of foam and goo".
Well readers we will not steal all the net space here but do encourage visits to the Microsoft site and/or confirmed authentic destinations of those more knowledgeable whom we are sure will want to check the details with someone who sleeps more BUT GETS LESS NEWS than us. Yes last we recall we were faithfully on our Firefox browser just cranking it up with our seventeen conflicting antivirus antibadware spanking new programs (complete with extra "Express Install" goodies) safely settled in we thought for a couple of hours with all 13,000 updates and plug-ins duly installed before the next round began.
That is it for you little hackers we are gassing up and pulling the ripcords on the Weedeaters (trademark) going straight for the computer cables first to make sure everything is properly and safely unplugged, taking the whole computer out on the bocce court and dousing it with homemade napalm (five parts styrofoam to one part gasoline) with a case of EXTRA BIG SIZE RAID ROACH AND HACKER KILLER. Go get them Bill, go, go, go flying off in your Blackhawk still wearing your PAC-MAN pajamas. Get 'em, BILL, get 'em.
And so not to forget to replace them with their replacement APPs, out in stores EARLY tomorrow along with the GOLD-PLATED EDITION of post-GADGET Windows number De-Luxe (we told you years ago "XP" was not a number -- those letters like "P" are expressly the domain of the pharmaceutical carnival hawkers turned "campaign donors" looking for just one little extension on that patent right there like it says in the Constitution). Anyway, that is a wrap from Ninth Amendment world central. "It is 4 A.M., do you know where your children are?" (Yes, same as always safely upstairs "chatting" on their new certified kids-safe social network "MeanTeen" eyes glued on their monster-screens pretend-hacking our "family computer" with their modified Ataris. . . . ) Just kidding.
Go go go get those nasty GADGETS!!! From the newsroom that never sleeps this has and will be Big M and the entire NINTH AMENDMENT WORLD SUPPORT TEAM -WE NEVER SLEEP, SO YOU CAN TRY! Just work on that bruxism, would you?
Copyright 2013 Big M All World Rights Expressly Reserved
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