Miss San Antonio Sues Over Stripping of Her Crown for Fatness Disobediance

Thursday, 24 March 2011, SAN ANTONIO - The jury was still out until this weekend in what has been characterized by some as the "most significant legal proceeding since Bush v. Gore". The partisan right-wing United States Supreme Court in that so-called "case" decided in minutes the disputed outcome of the 2000 presidential election.
       After being  rushed through a series of partisan Florida Republican officials appointed by George "little shrub" Bush brother and Governor of Florida, George "little shrub" Bush was declared victor over former Vice-President Al Gore despite Gore's majority of both the United States' popular and electoral votes.
       In the far more serious pending case at hand Dominique Ramirez, the apparent 2011 Miss San Antonio, has been stripped of her crown for "degrading" it by packing on the kilos starting immediately following her victory in a city already disgraced to be the "Fattest City in America". Although the Ninth Amendment expresses no opinion on the truthfulness of the allegations flying around the courtroom, San Antonio pageant organizers and various family and other members of the local beauty pageant community have escalated the trial into a circus of flying ugly accusations.
      With accusations of federal crimes, money owed the federal government and a growing host of sordid not so "behind-the-scenes" despicable and allegedly illegal behavior past and present, the event has proven certainly once again to thrust San Antonio into America's spotlight in an arguably less-than desirable spotlight.  Miss San Antonio had appeared in an accompanying photo in a bikini which photo had to be "heavily doctored" before it could be released to the public
     Readers should also note that her hands are intentionally kept out of sight in all bikini "photos" that have not been successfully recalled as her ample paws are too hard to doctor realistically and moreover actually hold a two-pound pork tongue and re-fried bean burrito covered with cheese food product, on which the Queen was snacking as she awaited the outcome of the trial crucial to the city, state and possibly the entire world.
      Reportedly the deliberations did conclude with the trial judge reluctantly admitting the Court had "no choice" but to give back the crown to the "Beauty Queen" based on technicalities just as Ozzie Osbourne has once again had to be allowed back into San Antonio to perform after being barred from the city for mistaking the Alamo for a urinal. Since that time up until the present his only local performances have had to be in Bexar County venues which are more interested in cash receipts than whether or not the Alamo's walls are dry.

Copyright 2011 Big M and Little L All World Rights Expressly Reserved

Texas Ranks 44th Out Of 50 States in Education Spending Per Pupil

Sunday, 27 March 2011, SAN ANTONIO - The above full-page notice appeared in this Sunday's San Antonio Express-News newspaper's front section with the query: "How can we even think of cutting it further?" Raise Your Hand Texas. Texans who still care about the future of the state and its students can go to RaiseYourHandTexas.org or call 512-476-4178 to take action now!
     Don't Mess With Texas! Do what you can to help send "Governor" Perry and his criminal Texas legislature back to Texas State Prison so they can wait for former President George "little shrub" Bush and his criminal former CIA chief of torture and assassinations father to join them there before the entire Bush clan is tortured and executed for treason, terrorist conspiracy, mass murder, bestiality and violation of the "Patriot Act".
     Governor Rick "Six-Shooter" Perry, "America's Next President in 2012, Dead or Alive, Makes No Difference." Governor Perry will keep the Washington, D.C. border with Mexico secure. Remember, you read it first in the Ninth Amendment, "All the News That Prints in Fits".

Copyright 2011 Big M and Little L All World Rights Expressly Reserved

Qaddafi Laughs in the Face of Explosions Raining Down on Tripoli

Wednesday, 23 March 2011, TRIPOLI - In this Moammar el-Qaddafi stornghold of Tripoli, the Colonel broadcast on television his latest carefully scripted rant regarding now near-constant bombing and missile attacks on Libya. The Colonel clearly has been rattled as he declared that he "laughed in the face" of explosions raining down on Tripoli from aerial bombs and naval cruise missiles.
     As reported yesterday twenty-four hour partying and dancing continued in the Colonel's residential compound as occasional bombs and missiles destroyed buildings amongst the partiers. The Colonel earlier had disclosed the heart of his military strategy in his earlier televised that "he who controls the ground wins the war."
     Meanwhile the Colonel's troops continued their attacks and sieges on rebel strongholds in distant parts of Libya uninterrupted except when Libyan columns of tanks and other military vehicles were completely destroyed by near-continuous bombing by United States and Allies included United Kingdom and French bombers and warplanes. The US and Allies also continued to attack the Colonel's ground troops from the air as they reportedly (by the Colonel) also killed civilians in their ongoing effort to enforce the United Nations' expansive "no-fly" zone allegedly largely established to keep the Colonel from killing civilians.
     As to establishment of the "no-fly" zone no Libyan aircraft at all have been reported in the skies above Libya since it began while meanwhile the Libyan sky has been filled with an extensive array of different warplanes, bombers and cruise missiles raining down on the country.
     President Obama and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton have confessed that "personally" they want the Colonel out of Libya. The United States military meanwhile, however as previously reported here, has steadfastly insisted that the continuing bomb and missile attacks on the Colonel's residential compound, which includes his home, are not intended to kill the Colonel "at this time". The laughing Colonel is not known to keep any Libyan warplanes in his house.

Copyright 2011 Big M and Little L All World Rights Expressly Reserved

United States and European Allies Enforce No-Fly Zone Over Khadafi's House

Monday, 21 March 2011, TRIPOLI - This past weekend an enormous variety of American and European bombers and fighter aircraft enforced the United Nations' recently declared "no-fly" zone over Libya. The curious attack apparently meant to prevent Colonel Khadafi's warplanes from killing rebels or civilians was apparently broadly interpreted by American and European military commanders to mean that they themselves should kill Libyan soldiers, civilians, and anyone else who was not a rebel.
     This tour de force also included the dropping of a bomb on the Colonel's personal Tripoli compound largely demolishing what was identified as either his guards' barracks or his house. Reporters were kept sequestered so as to keep them from making the wrong interpretation of the American and Allies attacks throughout Libya. In the morning they were taken to see first-hand how the Colonel's compound building had been bombed and partially demolished.
     Although there are no warships known to be in the vicinity, the United States in its continuing curious actions had a Vice-Admiral serve as spokesperson. He assured reporters that the bombing of Colonel Khadafi's house or guard barracks in no way was intended to kill the Colonel "at this time". Egyptian participants in the United Nations "no-fly" vote apparently were unhappy and at a complete loss as to explain what the American and European bombing campaign had to do with the United Nations vote. Apparently they were not familiar with the historic American "Gulf of Tonkin" resolution in Vietnam, said to be a favorite of Hillary Clinton's.
     Meanwhile Colonel Khadafi on Libyan state media apparently took umbrage at the full-scale attack of all of Libya, including his house. The Colonel threatened that oil supplies to the Americans and European allies might soon be cut off if they did not find some other use for them than bombing Libya and trying to kill him.

Copyright 2011 Big M and Little L All World Rights Expressly Reserved

Arizona Nears Financial Disaster Following Racist Legislation, Impending Ghadhafi Relocation

Saturday, 19 March 2011, PHOENIX - Arizona, the United States' most reactionary state along with its laughingstock neighbor down the Mexico border, Texas (separated only by New Mexico to keep the two states from forming the "Fourth Recih"), captiulated today on all five of its latest racist proposed unconstitutuional bills. The nearly entirely Republican Arizona state senate had to back down entirely on its latest proposed legislation of racist hatred.
     Repbulican Governor Jan Brewer took no position claiming that she never keeps up with pending Arizona legislation so that it will "always be a surprise" when it lands on her spotless desk. This allows her never to have to read or prepare for any possible pending Arizona laws.
     In reality an enormous wave of business interests in the wake of entirely predictable massive crippling economic boycotts of Arizona goods, conventions, and tourism gave Arizona's Republican senators their marching papers. Arizona business interests made clear that the Republican Arizona senators who formerly mostly operated car washes and pawn shops would be dumped out of their seats, lose their ability to take bribes, and be back living on welfare if they did not shape up quick and remember that dollars come before racism.
     As for the defeated proposed Arizona legislation that actually purported to disallow people born in the United States from necessarily becoming citizens, since it directly contradicts the clear language of the United States Constitution, one must ask what language Arizona Republican senators actually do speak or if they can actually read. Especially the Republican head of the Arizona senate who strongly supported all bills. 
     Finally, with his options rapidly dwindling, no longer being allowed to fly his jets over Libya and kill his opponents and citizens, Col. Moammar Gadhafi reportedly asked Arizona Republican senators if he could move to Paradise Valley, Arizona. That only would be necessary when the United States attacks him in Libya as Secretary of State Hillary Clinton today promised the deranged Colonel Gadhafi.
     Of course that is if Governor Rick "Six Shooter" Perry cannot be located in time to respond to Colonel Gadhafi's request to live in the unoccupied Texas Governor's Mansion. The "Colonel" did offer to "renovate" and paint it pink like his Pink House in Libya, so long as he could park some used military jets in the yard along with his modified Humvee to help Gov. Perry "hold the borders" with Mexico and Oklahoma. George "little shrub" Bush did offer to rent Colonel Gadhafi his truck which only needs "minor" repairs after he drove it into the local Walgreen's Pharmacy drive-thru brick wall in a drunken crack haze while picking up his medication with a prescription forged by his ex-con journalist daughter.

Copyright 2011 Big M and Little L All World Rights Expressly Reserved 

United States Rushes Charter Flights to Repatriate U.S. Citizens in Japan

17 March 2011, New York, New York - Barely more than twelve hours after the lead spokesperson for the United States Nuclear Regulatory Commission blithely observed that neither earthquakes nor nuclear reactor accidents were possible in the United States, and all nuclear reactor construction and operations would continue as usual, the NRC realized that it had no basis whatsoever for its statements.
     As Japanese nuclear reactor radiological catastophic events continued to escalate out of control, the United States just hours ago began charter flights to evacuate United States citizens from Japan. Just yesterday the United States lagged far behind many other nations in taking immediate steps to protect and evacuate their citizens in Japan. The United States meanwhile until late yesterday advised Americans in Japan that they "might think about staying about fifty miles away" from the rapidly deteriorating reactors as they spewed radiation now being monitored by countries around the world.
     The United States Nuclear Regulatory Commission is not known to employ any scientists or anyone with any real knowledge of radiation or nuclear reactors. As demonstrated until hours ago, the NRC's sole priority was to insure that nuclear reactor business interests on New York stock exchanges were "safe" from plummeting shares and that nuclear reactor business continued as usual in the United States. This included an announcement that the latest nuclear reactor being built between heavily populated areas of Texas in Houston and San Antonio would not be delayed from going on-line for a moment.
     Texas Governor Rick "Fed Up" Perry apparently currently is being briefed on what "radiation" actually is, or will be when he wakes up late Thursday morning. Aides expect to have to break the news to him that Texas actually does have nuclear reactors and that now probably would not be a good time for Mr. Perry and his wife to take one of their extremely frequent lengthy trips to Japan to attract Japanese tourists to Texas. Mr. Perry reportedly has had an extremely difficult time grasping that the world events of the past week are neither a Mexican "plot" nor a Texas-Mexico "border issue."
     All the staff of the Ninth Amendment above all reiterates its deepest sympathy, compassion, and prayers for all those in Japan and their loved ones everywhere. The Ninth Amendment wishes the injured speedy and full recoveries, and may the lost rest in peace.

Copyright 2011 Big M and Little L All World Rights Expressly Reserved

Ninth Amendment Staff Called Back From Yemen and Libya

17 March 2011, New York, New York - In light of the unfolding natural, man, and General Electric made catastophic earthquake, tsunami, reactor meltdown, and unfolding catastrophic radiological events and horrible death toll in Japan Ninth Amendment staff have been called back from special assignment inYemen and Libya to resume immediate weblication for our loyal readers.
     The Ninth Amendment expresses its deepest sympathy and compassion to all the people of Japan and all currently in Japan. May the souls of the lost rest in peace and their families and loved ones find solace and peace through these unprecedented and still-unfolding catastrophic times. May all those who selflessly stay on and rush to the aid of Japan be forever remembered and honored for their work and the risk they themselves face as an enduring reminder of the finest qualities of humanity.

Copyright 2011 Big M and Little L All World Rights Expressly Reserved