09 February 2013

Texas Idiot Governor Rick "Six-Shooter" Perry Rises From The Dead (Of Mind) To Warm Bay Area Welcome

     Saturday, 09 February 2013, AUSTIN - Texas Idiot Governor Rick "Six-Shooter" Perry this week announced over radio commercials a shrewd plan next week to visit with San Francisco and Silicon Valley business executives as he had "heard it was impossible to start a business in California". Perry apparently therefore did not suffer any further brain impairment since his last appalling U.S. Presidential campaign called by James Carville "the worst ever in history" marred for Perry by such moments as a nearly one-minute Perry lapse in response to a question about an issue Perry himself had raised but apparently completely forgotten during a live televised campaign debate of Republican candidates which Perry very briefly had entered as the front-runner.
     In any case the indefatigable Perry armed with infamous coyote-killing laser-sighted six-shooter is expected sometime next week as noted although his public appearances may be limited. Calls to Texas revealed that many Texans were not aware that Perry was Governor nor was now holding that office for his fourth or fifth term.  He clearly is a man who knows how to get a job, and keep it, his earlier forays into animal husbandry apparently unsuccessful with his claimed Alma mater Texas A&M never acknowledging whether he ever  in fact had attended the University reportedly hoping to be a veterinarian. That aside Perry does now hold the dubious distinction of being the first human known to shoot a coyote to death which occurred during his morning run accompanied by his huge security detail   
     Texas Idiot Governor Rick "Six-Shooter" Perry is known to spend most of his time at the expense of Texas taxpayers in other countries and states other than Texas the "business" state which boasts the nation's dirtiest air among other dubious "accomplishments".
     Nevertheless by his own account Perry plans to visit business leaders in San Francisco and especially Silicon Valley where a warm response likely is guaranteed Perry from officers of some of the world's most successful high-tech corporations who may be looking for a new aesthetic living in the country's dirtiest environment populated by students who more often than not never graduate high school and are cut off in community college studies when it is learned that they largely are unable to pass third-grade English tests.
     Beyond unemployable unschooled workers unneeded by Bay Area companies who also may find it difficult to breath amidst the foul weather of Texas' alternating putrid hanging humid Gulf of Mexico air and freezing cold blasts shooting down from the far North,  a final consideration to some may be that Perry often threatens to secede Texas permanently from the United States presumably to regain its place as the northernmost province of Mexico. For many workers revoking their United States citizenship in order to have some unclear status in Mexico may prove less than compelling.

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