Eager readers may keep and even try to print out for free at no cost whatsoever the actual authentic solicitation below for their very own just as if it had been sent directly to them should they care to see what may be coming soon to their own democracy if not yet so lucky or if already in the United States to get a behind the scenes peek at what those "bleeding-heart liberal socialist communist elitist gun-taking abortion-crazed career-unemployed so lazy they even have to get their welfare checks direct deposited now to their accounts at the local pawn shop Democrats" are up to since in all transparency (or readers please pick your own noun as above) as demonstrated by the solicitation below it is fairly obvious already to those Democrats without further evidence necessary that those Republicans mostly are up to their usual limited anti-democracy arsenal of dirty tricks, obvious distortions, outright lies, quasi-criminal uses of others' money so they can get even more for themselves which they do not need anyway, and whatever conspiracies and crimes might seem helpful at the moment while law enforcement is kept diverted busy throwing everybody else in jail for smoking pot or ingesting some new drug being sold and distributed by CIA / DEA informants.
In case the GOP should lose the handful of really rich people and maverick geniuses buying the U.S. Government for those Republican candidates like Texas' brand new Superstupid McCarthyite Tea Partier Ted Cruz (the GOP's secret weapon currently "handling" U.S. foreign policy which he has for some reason identified as his clear mandate as a new junior senator to try his hand at solo in Ukraine presumably to see if his first success can be single-handed to goad Putin into another Cold War or just go for it and start World War Three and show the world that all this stuff U.S. taxpayers have bought from "defense contractors" for so long can pass the big test) those Republicans may want to copy those Democrats' "grassroots" funding techniques if they work some and the GOP has little other choice. We believe the strategy basically goes like the following with all those Democratic solicitations for money mentioned above and the free real one below.
Say hypothetically those Democrats have a huge pile of e-mail addresses which formerly may not even have been thought worthwhile prospects because they (actually the people at the addresses) vote in their own countries (where elections are available) or if in the United States have records of apparent Republican support, e.g. former not-really-elected "President" George W. Bush. But considering there is little downside why not throw even him the "Hail Mary" bomb and shoot him a couple thousand e-mails as he may make a big donation by mistake or change his mind and become a Democrat based on a particularly compelling plea or just because he hates being in the same party as Dick "Pigheart" Cheney as much he dislikes his former lieutenant Texas Idiot Governor Rick "Payback" Perry and maybe fears apocalypse should Perry like him become "President" by another sneaky obvious Republican coup even if Perry is imprisoned at the time.
As for the foreign e-mails to foreign citizens, well who knows? Again what is the downside as for all those Democrats know they may have a bunch of absentee U.S. ballots lying around that the Democrats sent to them because that is how those Republicans do it and because they seemed like they might want to get a shot at the U.S. trough even if they were citizens of the wrong country, or maybe they even have a warehouse of dead people's ballots because the C.I.A. screwed up rigging some country's "democratic" election and got its countries mixed-up. It happens.
Then there is always the chance of some really evil very lucrative even more than top secret type of "deal with the devil" where there is a covered stadium full of pallets of ballots that all the locals know about which mean it was some kind of operation not really appropriate for actual United States Government employees that then could only be the brainchild of Dick "Pigheart" Cheney hiring out one of his contractor-type companies made up of mercenaries, "early-released" deathrow felons, murderers, dishonorably discharged criminally insane military snipers all with some name like Halliburton, Blackdeath, Wastewater, or the latest one Academia or whatever, finally having "got it" when doing the periodic name change after the latest atrocity that an image change to go along with it probably would not be a bad idea. Kind of like Perry.
If that last one did turn out to be a real scenario then the Republican fundraisers would really be in luck and the good kind at that as Cheney was a Republican at least when he was Vice-President (he sure did live up to the name of that position). Yes that is the ticket just lower the pallets of hundred dollar bills first and then the ballots. One just never really knows the true vagaries of the magic of the democratic process. In any case enough digression with the actual authentic souvenir solicitation of those Democrats which follows, which again readers are free to keep for free at no cost.
This post is presented solely as a public service by the Ninth Amendment in its own capacity and in no way reflects any actual connection real or imagined with those Democrats' solicitations for money below or anywhere. Nor has there been any communication whatsoever with the Democratic Party or any of its representatives regarding this post at any time. Finally while it may appear to readers that there may be a few anomalies in this post's layout we trust our Google Adsense advertisers will see that the format merely falls into the new Google experimental beta ad category.
Democratic Victory
To Me
May 21 at 8:29 AM
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