Saturday, 16 August 2014, AUSTIN, TEXAS - In spite of his new eyeglasses which apparently did not come equipped with a new brain Texas Idiot Governor Rick "Payback" Perry adamantly resisted calls that he step down and vowed that he will remain in the Texas Governor's Office despite dual Grand Jury indictments handed down yesterday that at worst could eventually land Perry with a 99 year prison term in one of the country's worst prison systems of his own creation and no one in his twin Governor's mansions to look out for the thousands of Texas state government patronage appointees naturally hollering "foul politics" all of whom owe their payback jobs and protection from their own misdoing to the mind-numbingly long Perry run in office. Perry's remaining "fair weather" band of corrupt largely out-of-state dirty money supporters are expected to jump ship and it is not looking as if it will be to GOP Texas Woman-Hater A.G. Gregg "Dark Money" Payday Abbott's sinking campaign. Senator Ted Superstupid Cruz (R-Tex) announced that Perry "is a man of integrity" and that "I am proud to stand with him" (presumably even in a Texas prison cell although Cruz did not make clear where he would lay down when not standing next to Perry).
Today at 12:49 PM
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