BP Oil Spill Reaches Louisiana Beaches, Headed for Florida and Atlantic Ocean

May 20, 2010, WASHINGTON, D.C. - British Petroleum, one of the richest corporations in the world, now claims to be capturing more than fifty per cent of the oil spewing from its Gulf of Mexico well in US waters for more than a month. 29% of U.S. Coastal fishing waters now have been destroyed by spill. BP asserts its newest effort to stem oil flow will be made this Sunday. Meanwhile the oil spill now coats Louisiana beaches and is headed for Florida's western coast. The spill is expected to destroy Florida beaches and estuaries as it heads around Florida and streams up into the Atlantic Ocean.
BP's claims are estimates of BP's ability to stop oil spew and are expected to be completely inaccurate and worthless since BP has proven totally incapable of controlling the oil spill which it let loose. Meanwhile President Obama has broken up the MMS division of the Department of Interior into three branches. All former MMS employees, who apparently have failed to do their jobs for their entire government careers, will be sent to Afghanistan strapped with locking suicide bombs and sent out to find Taliban to blow up. This should save money on their funeral expenses.
Oil and water separation efforts are to be undertaken using technology privately funded by Hollywood figure Kevin Costner. BP and other oil companies were unable to fund development of this separation technology because they earn so little money, despite their heartfelt and genuine concern for the environment of the Earth.
Meanwhile no one has publicly mentioned the possibility that the US might want to consider actually prohibiting off-shore oil drilling since oil industry experts have pointed out how "safe" it is and how much money oil companies can make from the oil, the worst energy source ever used.

Copyright 2010 Big M and Little L All World Rights Expressly Reserved

BP CEO Tony Hayward Pleadges to Pay for All Costs of Environmental Disaster

May 19, 2010, WASHINGTON, D.C. - British Petroleum CEO Tony Hayward has sent a letter and testified before Congressional Committees that BP "will pay all legitimate claims" by coastal residents, communities, and businesses affected by the disaster in the Gulf of Mexico, expected to destroy one third of the United States coastline. He failed to mention the willingness of BP executives to spend several years in federal prison.
Mr. Hayward's disingenuous remarks contradict recent disagreements between BP and its contractors as to who bears financial responsibility for the disaster. Typical of high-ranking executives Mr. Hayward's obviously false testimony was accepted by Congressional Committees whose individuals rely heavily on the oil industry for campaign contributions.
President Obama "excorciated" those responsible for the disaster including the Interior Department and its MMS unit responsible for inspecting the thousands of oil wells sunk in the Gulf.
Although required every thirty days, the MMS inspectors actually rarely inspected the rigs. When they did, they spent an average of two to three hours conducting inspections which were totally inadequate while devoting the rest of their "work" hours to viewing internet pornography. Completely uninspected, BP well safety valves completely failed in the disasters since they were powered by batteries that did not operate and which valves contained experimental components which did not operate.
Like BP, the Interior Department played down the disaster without any serious opposition or intensive questioning from Congressional Committee members who are all tools of the oil industry. To date, one third of the Gulf of Mexico is now closed to all commercial and other fishing. There has been no serious discussion of terminating off-shore oil drilling.

Copyright 2010 Big M and Little L, All World Rights Expressly Reserved

U.S. Supreme Court Rules "Sex Offenders" Can be Imprisoned Indefinitely

May 18, 2010, WASHINGTON, D.C. - Today it was reported that the U.S. Supreme Court voted 7-2 that "sex offenders" may be held indefinitely in prison after they have served their prison sentences. The Court established no requirements for rehabilitation, counseling, or any other therapy.
"Sex offenders" now can be held in prison cells for any period or the rest of their lives despite having served and completed their prison sentences. Several members of the Supreme Court are expected to retire or die while President Obama is in office. For unclear reasons, Mr. Justice Clarence Thomas is not being held indefinitely in prison, although he may be suffering from AIDS or any number of other STD's.

Copyright 2010 Big M and Little L, All World Rights Expressly Reserved

President Obama and Janet Napolitano Dismay Supporters on "Drug War"

May 15, 2010, WASHINGTON,D.C. - The Associated Press today reported news of the forty year failed "War on Drugs" started by Richard Nixon and reported in this log weeks ago. The AP largely reproduced without accreditation information earlier reported here.
Despite pre-election President Obama's pledge to re-orient US policy regarding drugs to treatment, particularly in light of his own confessed use of marijuana and cocaine, not criminal enforcement, the White House reported that Obama's proposed budget actually exactly duplicated "President" Bush little shrub's failed budget for police with no more money for rehabilitation. When questioned Janet Napolitano affirmed her complete support for the failed "War on Drugs" and law enforcement budget.
Obama has proven himself to be a liar, incsincere and undeserving of re-election. Napolitano has exposed herself to be an idiot. Both are expected to return to their home states and never hold federal office again. Obama incidentally announced during his campaign that he was both a cocaine and marijuana user, as mentioned above. Janet Napolitano apparently was not as she did not know where to "score" the drugs. Bush was an idiot who abused cocaine for years, but Obama and Napolitano have no such excuse. The coming revolution is inevitable.

Copyright 2010 Big M and Little L, All World Rights Reserved

California Wal-Marts Settle on Multi-Million Dollar Fine for Dumping Poison

3 May 2010, SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA - Today reports were that Wal-Mart stores, currently also facing numerous other lawsuits across the country for sex discrimination, violation of labor and antitrust laws, as well as crimes against humanity, settled for a multi-million dollar penalty with environmental regulators for illegal storage and dumping of hazardous waste at 234 stores in California.
The cost of cleaning up hazardous waste from one 55-gallon drum that reaches the water table can cost over one million dollars and take over one hundred years. Wal-Mart is expected to recover penalty costs by further cutting employee "benefits", to the extent that any exist, and by continuing to sell unadvertised items at above-market prices after driving local retail stores out of business.

Copyright 2010 Big M and Little L, All World Rights Expressly Reserved

Texas Governor Demonstrates Shooting Prowess

3 May, 2010, AUSTIN, TEXAS - In addition to recently waving a six-shooter and firing it in the air at the start of a NASCAR race, "Having a Little Fun" San Antonio Express-News, A Hearst Newspaper. Texas Governor Rick Perry this past week became the first Austin resident to shoot a coyote within city limits. He shot the coyote while on his morning jog with a handgun he always carries in his running shorts.
Although a coyote has never been known to threaten a human, Governor Perry shot the animal in "self-defense" when his security detail apparently proved unable to protect him from the threatening coyote. It is not known if Governor Perry plans to shoot it out with any potential future assassins or leave the task to his security detail.
Mr. Perry also recently rejected federal funding to help the underclass in the state of Texas, much as he had rejected earlier federal funding for education apparently on the basis of his inability to comprehend the law.
To date he is not believed to have carried out his threat that Texas would "secede" from the United States. Mr. Perry is perhaps best known for his refusal to stay the execution of a Texas inmate, because Mr. Perry believed it might hurt his political chances, although the inmate was found shortly before his execution to have been convicted with tainted evidence.
Apart from his demonstrated abilities to kill animals and humans, Mr. Perry has been mentioned as a possible candidate for future election as a United States President. Texas is known to have provided the country with some of the worst Presidents in history, often after they have "successfully" served as Texas Governors. Many Americans are aware of the Bush family's service to the United States. Lyndon Johnson did not even run for Presidential re-election.

Copyright 2010 Big M and Little L, All World Rights Reserved

U.S. Supreme Court Gives Texas Deathrow Inmate Taste of U.S. "Justice"

April 22, 2010, WASHINGTON,D.C.- The United States Supreme Court recently after careful consideration summarily denied taking up the case of a Texas deathrow inmate. Earlier the inmate had had the Texas Court of Criminal Appeals deny re-opening the inmate's case after it was revealed that the trial judge and prosecutor had been having intimate sexual relations throughout the trial of the inmate's case. The Texas court concluded this was inconsequential to the fairness of the inmate's trial conviction.
Both the judge and prosecutor later made public statements expressly acknowledging they were sexually involved throughout the inmate's case, in which he was sentenced to death. True to the spirit of Texas' criminal "justice" system, the Texas Court of Criminal Appeals nevertheless held fast to its tradition of never reversing or reopening a guilty verdict.
The Texas court then stunningly reversed itself and opened the case for reconsideration last week coincidentally within days of The New York Times publishing an article reporting the facts of the Texas inmate's trial. The U.S. Supreme Court then followed this with a summary denial of the deathrow inmate's request for reconsideration.
The inmate now remains on death row waiting his turn. Texas executes more people than all the other states plus the U.S. federal government combined. Texas in fact executes more people than any nation in the world. Although at the bottom of many lists of state statistics for less important matters such as education, this week it was reported that more Texas inmates are raped by other prisoners than in any other state. Texas therefore actually is at the top of some lists other than just that for executions.

Copyright 2010 Big M and Little L All World Rights Reserved

Drug Cartels Attack Northern Mexico Army Bases

April 5, 2010, NEUVO LAREDO - Mexcian drug cartels armed with United States "over the counter" weapons (available at Wal-Mart) and funded by billions of dollars accumulated since President Nixon's failed phony "War on Drugs", now in its fortieth year, in the past week have continued to attack and ambush Mexican Police, Mexican Federal Police, and Mexican Military Forces in what Mexican President Cardeno somewhat oddly interprets as a sign of imminent government victory over the cartels. Cartels also have established roadblocks and attacked Mexican Army bases throughout Northern and other parts of Mexico.
Mexican law enforcement authorities, politicians, citizens and children have continued to either join the cartels or flee to the United States, while Texas has provided Mexicans with free room and board in prisons while they consolidate in the United States gangs now working with the cartels. The United States finally has another other side to fight against right here at home in the "War on Drugs".
The United States with its ill-conceived drug criminalization policies and enforcement in fact patiently funded, enabled and armed armies of sophisticated global criminal organizations for the past several decades while the United States actually had no enemy to fight in the meantime. However, the "War" did enable many individuals who otherwise would have spent their lives on unemployment to get jobs in the United States law enforcement community.
Black Suburbans previously stolen in the United States and taken to Mexico now are back following school buses full of children in Texas border towns. Mexican Army helicopters "inexplicably" recently have commenced regular incursions into United State airspace including hovering for long periods over San Diego neighborhoods.
Currently it is unclear how eager United States military forces are to begin fighting gangs, Mexican drug cartels and corrupt "official" Mexican forces moving into the United States now that United States forces have been spread all over the world, mostly to fight former "President" little shrub Bush's phony war on terror.
The United States military already repeatedly sends United States troops with serious post-traumatic stress disorders and brain injuries back into combat almost immediately with the kind of compassion shown soldiers treated for "shell shock" in World War One, for a couple of days and then immediately sent back to the trenches. Army psychiatrists who currently are otherwise not occupied killing unarmed US soldiers now have concluded that these repeated missions may not be good for mentally impaired soldiers' "souls".
Meanwhile Blackwater in its latest corporate iteration reports record profits and high prospects for further looting of the United States treasury through bogus contracts in Afghanistan. This in spite of multi-million dollar enforcement actions and lawsuits simultaneously being brought by the United States government against Blackwater in its many guises -- in which the Blackwater family of companies seriously overcharge the United States government on open-ended contracts, do shoddy work or none whatsoever in all operations, and are responsible for death and injury to huge numbers of United States forces due to their lack of adequate performance of critical contracted strategic support.
Blackwater's further responsibility for death and serious injury to untold civilians in "friendly countries" has been confirmed by many reputable witnesses and news organizations. Blackwater "for accounting reasons" prefers to be paid in piles of untraceable hundred dollar bills lowered from United States helicopters.
Former Vice-President (emphasize "vice") Dick Cheney is reported still to be alive and thinking up new monetary and murder schemes as he prepares to spend eternity in hell and take the rest of humanity with him if possible. He celebrated Easter by torturing small animals. This report was contributed to by all major newswires and the few newspapers of any repute still left in the United States.

Copyright 2010 Big M and Little L All World Rights Reserved

Ninth Amendment Resumes Dissemination

Monday, March 29, 2010, EL PASO - This past week the editor-in-chief and spiritual leader of this log reappeared after a nearly six month absence which interrupted routine dissemination of news and information in regular postings here. Plans now have resumed to continue future timely postings.
The editor reports in the last days of October 2009 while vacationing in Peshawar (which does not celebrate Halloween) he had a black hood thrown over his head, was handcuffed and shackled, and was injected with an unknown substance that made him "feel good" but also left him disoriented and unable to recall the following week.
He regained consciousness and memory in a cell with only a mattress, a copy of Gideons' Bible, and smelled of cat litter. For the next several months he was allowed only to watch Fox News and videos of the Bush family drag-racing pickup trucks. The food was "mediocre with little variation" and the guards complained about it as well. The editor passed the next five months meditating, doing yoga and talking with the guards outside about trouble they were having with women at home.
Just last week he learned he was at "Gitmo" when one of the guards exclaimed to the other, "We have to get him out of this place!" after learning that the new President Obama essentially had closed the facility about one year earlier. Apparently the "Gitmo" administration had failed to pass this information on to all the employees of the facility.
Nor to all CIA operatives passing through since Air America occasionally dropped new prisoners there when the authorities were unable to determine exactly what legal classification to keep them under without disclosing their confinement or location, without permitting Geneva Convention requirements such as International Red Cross inspections of the facility, or charging them with or trying them with any crimes.
The next thing your editor remembers is again being injected. He asked if he could have some of the drug as a "souvenir" to take home but was denied by the facility administrator (who wore the uniform of a United States Postal employee). Your editor awoke/regained consciousness a few days later at 4 a.m. sitting at the bar of a nightclub in Juarez, Mexico (which coincidentally is where he vacationed last year).
He reports that the happy hour was excellent but tourists should be aware the go-go dancers actually were mostly transsexuals. Also, the State Department has issued a safety warning about Americans vacationing in Juarez although the Department is notorious for often being overly cautious and seriously misinformed. The Department did recently issue a "green light" for families, especially those with small children, taking scenic road trips of Afghanistan which the Department reports recently "has been secured" and the status is "Mission Accomplished."
Please look for information on more developments in upcoming postings here once news from our various world bureaus has been reviewed. So far in 2010 two times the number of American soldiers now have been killed in Afghanistan compared to the first quarter of 2009 as well as three times the number of American casualties. Our hearts go out to the families and loved ones of these brave women and men who have sacrificed their young lives and well being for the sakes of all of us.

Copyright 2010 Big M and Little L All World Rights Reserved