Sunday 19 June 2011, AUSTIN, TEXAS - The Ninth Amendment certainly hopes readers still are NOT READING THE NEW YORK TIMES DIGITAL VERSION WITHOUT LIMITATION SIMPLY BY SETTING THEIR FIREFOX BROWSERS TO "PRIVATE BROWSING".
However, Texans, the Ninth Amendment has far more important news that we unfortunately must report to you today. Before we wished to go forward with disseminating such heinous, evil information regarding Texas moron, idiot, fool, jerk and so on, Rick "six-shooter" Perry, however, the Ninth Amendment needed to make absolutely as certain as possible that this dismal news is true. Unfortunately it is.
As previously reported elsewhere, earlier this week the Texas legislature which very very rarely even passes legislation that does not cause horror and dismay worldwide (largely attributed to the Texas Legislature's overwhelming majority of persons who call themselves Republicans but in reality may just be people who could not get any other job, lacking GED's), this Texas legislature actually had the wisdom which could only have been the "stroke of God" to pass a SINGLE piece of intelligent legislation. Namely, the Texas legislature actually for a few seconds had the wisdom actually to OUTLAW texting while driving.
Yet, unbelievably, by the end of last week Governor Rick moron, idiot, fool, crook ("six-shooter") Perry actually boldly demonstrated that he is even stupider than anyone in Texas, the US, or the rest of the world thought was EVEN possible. In a STUNNING setback to sanity, intelligence, honesty, or any sense of ROAD SAFETY, Governor Rick ("six-shooter") Perry actually VETOED this law. RICK PERRY WANTS TO KILL YOUR CHILDREN, TEXAS. In comments he made while signing his veto with a flourish, which Governor Perry was KNOWN to have done BECAUSE HE WAS PAID OFF BY ALL THE CELL PHONE COMPANIES IN TEXAS, Perry reportedly laughed and joked that "driving with my eyes closed is fun, too".
The Ninth Amendment is of the opinion that AT&T headquartered we believe in Dallas even may have given Governor idiot, moron, fool, child-killer "six-shooter" Perry his own ISLAND which he was too stupid to realize is actually on land and is a radioactive-contaminated nuclear power plant on Japan. Readers, will you let this man kill your children? You may think he is hard to find because he is too "good" to live in the Texas Governors' Mansion. But he is the Governor, you can find him and voice your thoughts.
In vetoing the "driving while texting" law, Governor ("six-shooter") Perry obviously was too stupid to even wait to be told what to say by his staff. Instead, the impaired Governor, who may have to be taken away for his own good, gave the reason for veto as the law was just another "government effort to micromanage the behavior of adults". The Governor also apparently muttered something about the "cell" companies paid "me off better than you hicks". Perry surprised everyone by actually saying the word "micromanage" which apparently was Perry's one four-syllable word per week he is required to learn by a special Amendment to the Lone Star's State special "Perry Learner's Edition" Texas Constitution and Alamo coloring book.
The Texas Rangers already widely are known to believe Perry is the biggest idiot they have ever had the displeasure of serving under in their careers. Governor ("six-shooter") Perry already has proposed several times that Texas raise the speed limit to 120 mph, not require seat belts and allow citizens to mount .50 caliber machine guns in the back of their pick-ups so "we's can keep us safe from dem dern Mehicans". The Ninth Amendment already from a number of unconfirmed sources has learned that Governor "six-shooter" Perry apparently had an unpleasant erotic encounter which he initiated with a Mexican "illegal immigrant" boy when he was Lieutenant Governor, apparently tainting Perry's political outlook ever since.
Governor Perry of course was once Lieutenant Governor under George "little shrub" Bush during which tenure it is believed the two held a seance asking for bribes and uttering "[a] friend of the devil is a friend of mine". So, Texans, next time you worry about YOUR child making it home alive on Texas roads, remember you have Governor, the world's stupidest, moron, idiot "six-shooter", Perry to thank. Perry's the man who will kill your kid for a buck from a cell phone company. We can hardly wait until he becomes the Ninth Amendment's next predicted United States President in 2012. If PERRY had been President for four terms, we bet we would have won World War Two. Oh yes, we did, did we not, even without him.
Copyright 2011 Big M and Little L All World Rights Expressly Reserved
However, Texans, the Ninth Amendment has far more important news that we unfortunately must report to you today. Before we wished to go forward with disseminating such heinous, evil information regarding Texas moron, idiot, fool, jerk and so on, Rick "six-shooter" Perry, however, the Ninth Amendment needed to make absolutely as certain as possible that this dismal news is true. Unfortunately it is.
As previously reported elsewhere, earlier this week the Texas legislature which very very rarely even passes legislation that does not cause horror and dismay worldwide (largely attributed to the Texas Legislature's overwhelming majority of persons who call themselves Republicans but in reality may just be people who could not get any other job, lacking GED's), this Texas legislature actually had the wisdom which could only have been the "stroke of God" to pass a SINGLE piece of intelligent legislation. Namely, the Texas legislature actually for a few seconds had the wisdom actually to OUTLAW texting while driving.
Yet, unbelievably, by the end of last week Governor Rick moron, idiot, fool, crook ("six-shooter") Perry actually boldly demonstrated that he is even stupider than anyone in Texas, the US, or the rest of the world thought was EVEN possible. In a STUNNING setback to sanity, intelligence, honesty, or any sense of ROAD SAFETY, Governor Rick ("six-shooter") Perry actually VETOED this law. RICK PERRY WANTS TO KILL YOUR CHILDREN, TEXAS. In comments he made while signing his veto with a flourish, which Governor Perry was KNOWN to have done BECAUSE HE WAS PAID OFF BY ALL THE CELL PHONE COMPANIES IN TEXAS, Perry reportedly laughed and joked that "driving with my eyes closed is fun, too".
The Ninth Amendment is of the opinion that AT&T headquartered we believe in Dallas even may have given Governor idiot, moron, fool, child-killer "six-shooter" Perry his own ISLAND which he was too stupid to realize is actually on land and is a radioactive-contaminated nuclear power plant on Japan. Readers, will you let this man kill your children? You may think he is hard to find because he is too "good" to live in the Texas Governors' Mansion. But he is the Governor, you can find him and voice your thoughts.
In vetoing the "driving while texting" law, Governor ("six-shooter") Perry obviously was too stupid to even wait to be told what to say by his staff. Instead, the impaired Governor, who may have to be taken away for his own good, gave the reason for veto as the law was just another "government effort to micromanage the behavior of adults". The Governor also apparently muttered something about the "cell" companies paid "me off better than you hicks". Perry surprised everyone by actually saying the word "micromanage" which apparently was Perry's one four-syllable word per week he is required to learn by a special Amendment to the Lone Star's State special "Perry Learner's Edition" Texas Constitution and Alamo coloring book.
The Texas Rangers already widely are known to believe Perry is the biggest idiot they have ever had the displeasure of serving under in their careers. Governor ("six-shooter") Perry already has proposed several times that Texas raise the speed limit to 120 mph, not require seat belts and allow citizens to mount .50 caliber machine guns in the back of their pick-ups so "we's can keep us safe from dem dern Mehicans". The Ninth Amendment already from a number of unconfirmed sources has learned that Governor "six-shooter" Perry apparently had an unpleasant erotic encounter which he initiated with a Mexican "illegal immigrant" boy when he was Lieutenant Governor, apparently tainting Perry's political outlook ever since.
Governor Perry of course was once Lieutenant Governor under George "little shrub" Bush during which tenure it is believed the two held a seance asking for bribes and uttering "[a] friend of the devil is a friend of mine". So, Texans, next time you worry about YOUR child making it home alive on Texas roads, remember you have Governor, the world's stupidest, moron, idiot "six-shooter", Perry to thank. Perry's the man who will kill your kid for a buck from a cell phone company. We can hardly wait until he becomes the Ninth Amendment's next predicted United States President in 2012. If PERRY had been President for four terms, we bet we would have won World War Two. Oh yes, we did, did we not, even without him.
Copyright 2011 Big M and Little L All World Rights Expressly Reserved
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