President Obama Enjoys Sports with Men Only and May Still Smoke

27 October 2009, Washington, D.C. - President Obama is rumored to be secretly planning a huge men only bowling party because "women do not score as high." This past Sunday President Obama shortly after noon EST did go out for his usual Sunday men only golfing but brought along a token woman golfer to deflect criticism about his recent men-only basketball game. Her score was not disclosed.
President Obama defended his men only basketball game as it was requested by members of Congress that he have them over to the White House to play their weekly men only game. There have not been any reported serious injuries, heart, other serious health problems or deaths reported to date as a result of these games. They are reportedly not mandatory for all Congressional men as many are not fit or older and should probably not be playing too much competitive basketball.
Reportedly the First Lady does not object to what President Obama does with his free time so long as she can with hers what she wishes. Americans are coming to realize they want positive results so the USA can survive, and nobody should really care what a President does for recreation. The First Lady reportedly still does not smoke tobacco. President Obama earlier this year indicated that he may have broken a pledge to stop smoking if she would help him win the Presidency. He did say at the time that he never has at the White House in any case. Copyright 2009 by Martin Hugo Pesaresi and J.L. Ross, all United States and world rights expressly reserved.

October 2009 Too Busy to Report

Sunday, 25 October 2009 - San Antonio - Very large military aircraft continue daily flights into local military bases. Some questions about President Obama persist. Confusion over Iran, Afghanistan, Health Care, Extending home-buying tax breaks. CIA drones over Pakistan fire missiles often missing targets but killing scores of civilians. Meanwhile San Antonio Express News features columnist who asserts former "President" Bush should have gotten Nobel Peace Prize instead of Obama. Such idiocy is what a city of one million three hundred thousand people has only one newspaper published far away with a conservative, idiotic agenda. Copyright 2009 by Martin Hugo Pesaresi and J.L. Ross, all United States and world rights expressly reserved.

Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals To Outlaw Bank Loan Collections, Partnerships and Further Illegal Transfers of Taxpayers' Money By "Unentitled Crybabies"

Wednesday, 30 September 2009, San Francisco - Today the Ninth Circuit Federal Court of Appeals, widely recognized as the last Constitutional Court in the "United States", including the largely senile and brain-dead U.S. Supreme Court, is rumored to be drafting an en banc opinion that outlaws Loan Collections by banks, investment firm partnership "draws" illegally demanded from the Bush Adminstration which immediately made congress authorize an illegal payout of 700 billion to one trillion U.S. dollar bailout of Wall Street Banks.
Sadly this was followed by clearly illegal diversion of specifically Congress' Unconstitutional bailouts for bad business practices of "huge banks and Wall Street firms" that would supposedly "tank the economy" which was tanked anyway, if they did not get bailed out of bankruptcy and their own foreclosures by U.S. taxpayer money, later illegally "extended" by "President" Bush and unfortunately to car company financing bailouts and Paycheck Stores and credit cards.
Nevertheless the banks. after illegally getting the money paid by the US Government. refused to say where they "spent" the money, largely used for campaign funds to get Republicans back in the Government with "taxpayers" money and to "double dip" for money they could not get back from taxpayers after also collecting for usurious bank loans and foreclosing on taxpayers property after they had already been paid by them through Congress.
The Ninth Circuit is rumored to set to rule in a draft en banc decision that the bank loans, credit card usury, and Paycheck usury, and unauthorized paybacks to Auto Financing companies for money they cannot collect on subsidized SUV's and monster truck and civilian Humvees that illegally avoid illegal EPA gas requirement exemptions meant to apply to all U.S. Passenger Vehicles. It has recently been suggested by U.S. Military vehicles not at all SUV's and Humvees used for hunting, trips to the mall, and single person commutes by useless husbands funding a growing economy of useless products needed to keep capitalism "floating along", instead by being drafted along with their SUVs, Monster Trucks, Humvees, Tahoes, etc. which offer no protection far more sophisticated taiban and al-Queda IEDS and molten explosives which even the belatedly bloated Pentagon $1 million MRAPS made by a former California Speedboat maker cannot prevent from killing soldiers at the rate of one completed MRAP every six weeks they can produce even though the CBO accurately predicted this appalling statistic.
They incidentally stole the company web site addres of a former Rhodesian soldier who had already developed the idea in the fifteen year Rhodesian War that the Russian-China 15-year-old-communist-funded crippling insurrection to the economic crippling world sanctions in place by all the world against Rhodesians put in support of the Zanla and Zipra Forces who had figured out IEDS and ever more sophisticated defences as early as the early 1960's which the Rhodesians designed about 40 years before the early party of the 21st Century when the CIA figured it out. Apparently the CIA no longer recruits from the Woodrow Wilson School at Princeton but instead hire from assassination victim family matters who lecture at Harvard's JFK School or are foreign assassins who maybe dropped out of public school in Mexico and Latin American countries where people are not as consumed with history as Ivy League recruits who have some knowledge and concern about history.
Perhaps there is some irony in the fact that in 1789 the Founding Fathers of the Confederation of American States on 28 September voted to send the just completed U.S. Constitution to the 13 American state legislators for approval as the U.S Constitution. That was 230 years ago this past Monday. The Bill of Rights, originally 12 in number were reduced to ten and and passed by only Massachusetts and New Jersey, apparently. Copyright 2009 by Big M and Little L all United States and world rights expressly reserved.

President Obama Dismays U.S. Constitutionalists

Monday, September 28,2009, Washington, D.C. - Constitutionalists have been dismayed at the decimation of the U.S. Constitution started by President Reagan and continued by the recent "President Bush" continuing the legacy of his father in the CIA and as President of the U.S. Although President Obama supposedly is intelligent and went to a "good" college and law school, it must be noted that supposedly the recent "President" Bush allegedly attended some of the same schools as President Obama, although "President" Bush obviously got in because his father did, and not because he was smart, a good student, or attended any of his lectures or classes. Mr. Obama it must be noted did not attend Phillips Exeter Academy in high school, Princeton in college, Oxford for a Ph.D., or the University of Michigan or Stanford for Law School.
President Obama has disappointed major Constitutional institutions in the U.S. with his continuation of the Reagan attack on the Constitution in the phony "war on drugs" and the phony Bush "war on terror". He has continued among other things the decimation of the Constitutional Bill of Rights and Constitutional text with his continuation of the former "President" Bush policies including Unconstitutional detention of prisoners without any declaration of "war" and no charges brought with detention for almost ten years in Unconstitutional prisons maintained by the U.S. Military, CIA, DEA, "Justice Department" and other Executive Branch bureaucracies which are now largely believed to have been given more power than the President by all three branches of government including the U.S. Supreme Court, most of whose members should be impeached or prosecuted for treason, executed, sent to prison or commited to mental institutions, or hospitals for senility and lack of brain function and thrown from their seats as it is the only way to get rid of them.
President Obama's opening speech to the U.N. General Assembly attended by "world leaders" drew polite applause when he did declare the U.S. would no "longer" ingage in torture, largely seen as a cynical ploy of the President who no long has the power to stop it by the U.S. bureauracracies Unconstitutionally spanning the globe with torture, murder, and "executions" although the Founding Fathers had no intention or suspicion that they were drafting a document that would allow the U.S. Government to span the globe with heinous crimes far worse than the Revolutionary War allegedly launched against the British for crimes neither as global in scope or as horrible as those committed by the U.S. Government starting halfway into the 20th Century and now continued unabated into the 21st Century. Copyright 2009 by Big M and Little L all United States and world rights expressly reserved.

Former "President" Bush Wall Street Law Partners Return for Day From Long Weekend In Hamptons

Thursday, 24 September 2009, Wall Street, NY - Former "President" Bush Wall Street law partners returned from a long "weekend" in the Hamptons to reassure other clients that they were still having their underpaid associates "press forward with all possible billable delays in prosecuting other clients' cases besides former "President" Bush". It is reported that terrorist and Bush family funding for "the little shrub"'s legal defense will be limited at some point as it appears one way or another he will be executed by some "government" somewhere and the lawyers will still need to be able to bill their other clients who are still alive.
     Wall Street law partners did make a terse "concerted" statement to the Press on behalf of all Bush lawyers everywhere that the former disgraced "President" will be invoking the "state seccrets privilege". The "privilege", concocted by the former Bush "Administration", criminal Justice Department officials and of course the CIA, was one of the further "death blows" to the US Constitution concocted under the former "Bush" administration.
     Wall Street partners were seen taking helicopters back to the Hamptons at lunchtime in New York for the beginning of their next "weekend" after a long morning spent proofing legal bills to make sure they passed the "laugh" test. Many corporate lawyers are of course former Wall Street law partners who "still want to be paid about $800,000 dollars a year to do nothing" and therefore send out all legal work to their former "law firms" for about $650 dollars an hour plus kickbacks.
     Some have had to endure pay cuts down to as low as $500,000 a year as corporate executives finally have caught on that the lawyers high salaries cut into their $25+ million dollar bonuses for losing money, poor job performance, and getting "their cut" of the approximately one trilliion dollars given to banks and firms by Congress to save them from bankruptcy.
     Most "average" working Americans of course are paid minimum wage with no benefits and do not qualify for Unconstitutional "bailouts" because they do no have the means to hire lobbyists, kickback "campaign contributions" or pay off those in charge of the US Government "purse strings." Copyright 2009 by Big M and Little L all United States and world rights expressly reserved.

Private Security Forces Triple Military Presence in Afghanistan

Wednesday, 23 September 2009, Kabul - Private security forces contracted by CIA triple NATO military presence in Afghanistan in one day. Private security forces, after being airlifted pallettes of fresh US $100 bills from CIA helicopters, continued to pour into Afghanistan in response to anticipation of "formal US Military requests" for more troops in Afghanistan. They immediately "deployed" in various areas with no consultation with US Military forces anticipating a "formal" request for aid. This is consistent with their other actions in various locations where they answer to no one, except perhaps the CIA who periodically drop them cash payments, but mostly are "on their own."
Reportedly they have deployed to remote areas of Afghanistan to torture locals for information on Al-Qaeda and particularly disliked Taliban personnel. Meanwhile CIA drones are carrying out "remote assassinations" of the same targets. Personnel laughed when asked about "due process of law", a concept of which they claimed to have "no information." Some showed signs of recognition that the United States was governed by a "Constitution" but most, many of whom are not "traditional" U.S. Citizens or legal residents, expressed no familiarity with the document or its alleged influence on the current U.S. Governments. Copyright 2009 by Big M and Little L all United States and world rights expressly reserved.

Former "President" Bush Little Shrub Regains "Consciousness"

Wednesday, 23 September 2009, Riyadh - Former "President" Bush Little Shrub temporarily regained "consciousness" today when his liver and kidneys, which had been hit by big stones, briefly functioned and got some of the toxins out of his blood. 
     It is a matter of debate in the psychiatric community as to whether Mr. Bush has ever really been in a "state of even partial consciousness" since his birth. Mr. Bush was born by Caesarian birth and evidently many of the wrong powerful pharmaceuticals were administered. The drugs including high doses of thorazine were actually meant to be administered to a "psychotic" patient in a full-blown psychotic episode who had lapsed into a coma. In any case the psychotic patient had accidentally been placed in the bed immediately adjacent to Baby Bush' in the maternity ward. Baby Bush' behavior had been so "freakish", "weird" and "idiotic" that he was mistakenly thought to be the youngest patient ever in the locked mental ward.
     In any case Mr. Bush briefly spoke and ordered "ten times as many troops" to Afghanistan where he evidently sensed the potential for another debacle. Apparently Mr. Bush believed he was still "posing as President" despite the fact that his coup d'etat ended in disgrace nearly a year ago. He still demonstrated a keen ability to "make horrible policy decisions" adding hope that he would live to be tortured in "Gitmo" and executed in Texas or one of the many other jurisdictions where he has been sentenced to death "in abstentia". This will obviate the need for a show trial such as was staged for Saddam Hussein before this predetermined execution. Copyright 2009 by Big M and Little L, all United States and world rights expressly reserved.

Private Security Forces Pour Into Afghanistan

Tuesday, 22 September 2009, Kabul - Private security forces allegedly sent by Italy to avenge the recent killing of Italian soldiers when the Taliban recently attacked a convoy in Kabul poured into Afganistan today by C-130 drops, Humvees, Jeeps, Blackhawk helicopters and Japanese motorcycles (Harleys were in the shop.) In fact Italians denied they had anything to do with the known CIA killers largely working under contract to former "Vice-President" Dick Cheney. Mr. Cheney has managed to keep business enterprises going even while barely alive on life support for "massive" heart problems, using a chalkboard and blinking his eyes to communicate.
The private security forces, many of whom face murder charges in Pakistan and Iraq before they are returned to the US for execution for capital crimes committed there, have expressed a willingness to explore new "opportunities for violence" around the globe. With copious funding from the CIA's enormous "black budget", largely stolen from the Social Security Trust, private security forces have forged a lucrative partnership with the CIA. The rogue "Agency", now operating as its own country in the style of Albania, has found that private security forces offer a much quicker way to influence nation's policies around the globe than individual assassins used to provide. For example, instead of just taking out South Vietnam's President Diem in the 1950's the Agency has come to believe that private security forces could have "taken out" the whole South Vietnamese government and that somehow the U.S. or the CIA could have "won" the war, avoiding the later embarrassment ending in the abandonment of South Vietnam in the early 1970's.
This is not to mention the failed "Bay of Pigs" invasion and multiple hilarious attempts to assassinate Fidel Castro so the mafia could get back its lucrative Havana casinos as payback for swinging the 1960 Kennedy "election" by orchestrating the "Chicago miracle." The mafia never could forgive Robert Kennedy for turning on them and of course later murdered him in Los Angeles a few years after taking out his brother JFK the President in Dallas in collusion with George Bush Sr. and the CIA. Copyright 2009 by Big M and Little L, all United States and world rights expressly reserved.

US Pakistan Embassy Announces Doubling of Private Security Forces

Tuesday, 23 September 2009, Islamabad- The United States Ambassador to Pakistan announced at a "power breakfast" this morning that the Embassy there would be doubling the contract with private security company Black Death for embassy security. Historically this function had been the domain of the United States Marines but apparently none are available as they are being redeployed on "eight to ten missions" in nearly decade-long "conflicts" in countries such as Iraq and Afghanistan. The Joint Chiefs of Staff are careful not to call these "wars" since none have been Constitutionally declared since World War II last century.
Black Death is the new name for the security company known for its work killing innocent civilians in Iraq. It changes its name whenever its illegal acts and crimes tarnish the current name it is using. This past week it lived up to its reputation when Pakistani police raided its offices and found scores of illegal "thug" weapons including unregistered assault rifles, sawed-off shotguns, semi-automatic handguns, brass knuckles, and NATO stilettos. Many employees are on "conditional" leave from U.S. Prisons where they are serving death penalty sentences and life without parole sentences for "somewhat" serious crimes such as mass muder, gang rapes, mayhem, and torture. "U.S. Prisons are proud to report that no prisoners serving sentences for non-violent drug crimes are being conditionally released into the program."
The US Embassy reported that it was pleased with results from the Pakistani police raid which "demonstrate" that Black Death has the means to live up to its contractual security requirements for providing security and harrassment services around the US Embassy. Of course like all private firms working for the US Government it is not constrained by the US Constitution, law, or any Congressional accountability. Funds generally come out of "black" U.S. national security and CIA budgets which do not have to itemize expenditures of under one billion dollars. Copyright 2009 by Big M and Little L, all United States and world rights expressly reserved.

FORMER "PRESIDENT" BUSH "LITTLE SHRUB" RECOVERING IN KING'S HOSPITAL

MONDAY, 21 SEPTEMBER 2009, RIYAHD- FORMER "PRESIDENT" BUSH "LITTLE SHRUB" WAS RESCUED FROM HIS DEATH BY STONING IN CRITICAL CONDITION BY SAUDI SECURITY FORCES. THIS WAS PER AN AGREEMENT PURCHASED BY THE CIA THAT MR. BUSH WOULD BE ESCORTED ALIVE TO GUANTANOMO BAY. FOIA REQUESTS FOR THE AMOUNT PAID TO SAUDI FORCES WERE DENIED ON "NATIONAL SECURITY" GROUNDS.        
     IT IS RUMORED THAT RATHER THAN THE US GOVERNMENT PAYING TO HAVE MR. BUSH DELIVERED ALIVE, AN AGREEMENT WAS REACHED WHEREBY SAUDI OIL WOULD BE PUSHED UP IN PRICE TO $5.00 A GALLON TO LET "ORDINARY AMERICANS" FOOT THE BILL FOR ALLOWING MR. BUSH TO LIVE.
     MEANWHILE MR. BUSH WAS BEING SUSTAINED ALIVE AT THE KING'S HOSPITAL IN RIYADH WHERE HE WAS BEING HELD ON THE "COMMONERS" FLOOR IN THE SUB-BASEMENT. MR. BUSH IS EXPECTED LATER THIS WEEK TO RE-BOARD AIR FORCE FIVE FOR THE TRIP TO GUANTANOMO BAY AFTER HIS KIDNEYS AND LIVER SHOW SOME ACTIVITY OF "LIFE".
     MAINSTREAM AMERICAN NEWS MEANWHILE HAS AGREED TO REPORT THAT, CONSISTENT WITH HIS WIFE'S STORY, HE IS "OUT MOUNTAIN BIKING". UNDISCLOSED SOURCES REPORT THAT SHE IS SEEKING A DIVORCE AND A GUARDIAN FOR MR. BUSH. HIS DAUGHTER IS TO JOIN THE CORPORATE PRESS AS A REPORTER FOR THE "TODAY SHOW" NOW THAT SHE HAS SERVED HER PRISON SENTENCE FOR PRESENTING A FALSE XANAX PRESCRIPTION. Copyright 2009 by Big M and Little L all United States and world rights expressly reserved.

BUSH NEW YORK ATTORNEYS "ESCAPE" TO HAMPTONS FOR WEEKEND

Wall Street, 17 September 2009, 18:35EST, HUNDREDS OF BUSH FORMER "PRESIDENT" LITTLE SHRUB NEW YORK ATTORNEY FIRM PARTNERS FLEE NY BY HELICOPTER TO HAMPTONS. THEY ALL REFUSED TO SPEAK TO GROUPS OF THOUSANDS OF REPORTORS BUT SAID THERE WERE THOUSANDS OF LAW FIRM "ASSOCIATES"  LEFT BEHIND AVAILABLE FOR "USUAL" WEEKEKND HOURS OF FRIDAY 10AM-12 O'CLOCK MIDNIGHT, SATURDAY 10AM-2AM SUNDAY, AND SUNDAY 8:00AM-4:OOAM MONDAY.
     SUNDAY MORNING ASSOCIATES AND OFFICE STAFF WERE ALLOWED "OFF" FROM 6:00AM-7:00AM IN CASE "ANY WERE NOT TOO SLEEP-DEPRIVED" TO ATTEND SPIRITUAL, RELIGIOUS, OR "OTHER ACCEPTABLE SERVICES FOR CLIENTS ON BEHALF OF THE FIRM". ATTORNEY PARTNERS EXPRESSED "HEARTFELT AND DEEPLY PROFOUND APPRECIATION' FOR THOUSANDS OF HOURS AND HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF DOLLARS THE "PARTNERS EARN" OFF THE PALTRY WAGES OF ASSOCIATES.
    MORE TO FOLLOW IN UPCOMING ARTICLES REGARDING  PARTNERS' PROFITS EARNED IN US GOVERNMENT REPRESENTATION IN ORGAN SALES OF PARAMILITARY CIA EMPLOYEES IN SOUTHERN MEXICO INTERCEPTING SOUTH AND CENTRAL AMERICAN TEENAGERS TRYING TO GET TO U.S. TO WORK. ALSO MORE ON BUSH FORMER "PRESIDENT"'S "ROUGH JOURNEY TO RIYAHD".  HE IS RUMORED TO BE "SOMEWHAT STILL LIVING" TO FACE VARIOUS CHARGES AROUND THE GLOBE. Copyright 2009 by Big M and Little L, all United States and world rights expressly reserved.

ATTORNEYS FOR BUSH FORMER "PRESIDENT" THE LITTLE SHRUB ANNOUNCE COORDINATED PLAN FOR RESPONDING TO CHARGES

       Thursday,17 September 2009, Wall Street- "Wall Street" attorneys today announced "coordinated" plans released for defence of former "President" Bush "little shrub" by lawyers in New York. Also included are attorneys in Texas, Miami, Wahsington, D.C., Reno, Las Vegas, Utah, Tijuana, Riyadh, Los Angeles, Baghdad and "other locations" where he currently faces various charges for "Presidential" and other acts of treason, murder, mass murder, drug manufacturing, distribution, sales,and use, as well as charges of "idiocy," where he faces charges including Texas which include death sentences under the "Patriot Act", stoning to death, death by Tequila injection (unless he is killed first by angry "drug cartels'", and quasi-"government" CIA=funded paramilitry hit squads, police and arrmy forces), "clean" US Execution style including death in Utah by firing squad.
     The Wall Street attorneys sent paralegals, legal assistants, copy and supply room personnel downstairs to answer quetions from angry mobs of press and other people who showed up protected by the First Amendment but were nevertheleass beaten by Wackenhut and other private security forces. These maniacs are normally funded by the US Government to "avoid" the Bill of Rights. They are sometimes "tortured to death" at illegal CIA prisons which are "rumored" to be located in "sympathetic" nations around the globe.
     The law firm personnnel quickly "pleaded the Fifth Amendment" and tried to assert "Presidential" and "national security" privilege but were quickly confursed by the legal concepts and overwhelmed by angry mobs barely beaten back by "private" security forces. Law Firm staff quickly fled to waiting elevators and ordered pizza and beer deliveries.
     More to follow. Copyright 2009 by Big M and Little L, all United States and world rights expressly reserved.

FORMER "PRESIDENT" BUSH "LITTLE SHRUB" EN ROUTE TO SAUDI ARABIA FOR PUBLIC STONING

     San Antonio, 14 September 2009, 5:05pnCST - Former disgraced "Presient" Bush "little shrub" was rushed today from a Tijuana jail by Saudi Arabian security forces to the decrepit "Air Force Five" which lurched off the runway as it nearly failed to achieve take off at Tijuana International Airport and Taco Stand.. Security Forces commented that it was "too bad" the plane did not crash but said there "is still hope" that it will.
     "It's a long way to Riyadh," one anonymous source commented as Saudi security forces followed behind in a state-of-the-art jet usually reserved for the Saudi family. Their plane in fact was one of the many used by the Saudi royal familty to exit the United States abruptly the morning of 11 September 2001 after a "pay off" of former "President" Bush and the Bush clan. It was of course almost all Saudi citizens who carried out the alleged "terrorist hijacked" plane attacks of that date.
     All Royal family Saudis were permitted to safely exit the United States accompanied by Wackenhut security personnel provided by an elite wing of the secuity company reportedly indirectly subconracted and managed by Vice President "Dick" Cheney. Mr. Cheney of course later privately made hundreds of millions of dollars off U.S. overseas operations in Afghanistan, Iraq, and other undisclosed locations with failed private security operations and "back-up" plans such as unusable runways and "tangential infrastructure" such as medical centers.  
     Mr. Bush is en route to Saudi Arabia to be stoned "maybe" to death for certain "unmentionable" activities with young boys with which he was videotaped at a party at the Saudi Arabian Tijuana consulate. He snuck into the consulate posing as a lobbyist on his weekend arrival in Mexico. Mexico does not allow stoning to death except for "certain crimes" specifically performed with donkeys and burros. Meanwhile the Saudis had "bought" Mr. Bush after viewing the security videotapes. It was later disclosed that several burros and donkeys were found in Mr. Bush' room at the Tijauna Suites and Burro Stable.
     No definitive video tape evidence could readily be identified by Mexican authorities. The field of vision largely was obsucured by hundreds of transsexual transients, dancers, and "other deviants" partying amongst the animals in Mr. Bush' room at the time of his arrest by Mexican authorities. "We could have gotten around that" Mexican authorities claim after the Saudis "bought" Mr. Bush and forced Air Force Five to take off for Riyadh.
     It was unclear late Tuesday if the Saudis were really going to stone Mr. Bush to death or "stop just short of that" so he could be executed in Texas where he faces capital charges in his arraignment next week. The U.S. Marshals announced that they would also like to get him next week after a federal grand jury indicted him for staging a coup d'etat, treason, idiocy in office, and his "mission accomplished" war in Iraq. Copyright 2009 by Big M and Little L, all United States and world rights expressly reserved.

BUSH ESCAPES REHAB CENTER

      Friday, 11 September 2009, San Antonio, TX, 10:45CST. George Bush the "shrub" former "President" reportedly in the early hours today escaped rehab in "Air Force Five", the decrepit WWI plane reserved for use by former disgraced "Presidents" when it is not under repair, reportedly escaped his Texas crack treatment facility by telling the pilots he needed to buy some Tums. Drinking nail polish remover and brandishing a blow dryer, he told them he was "all excited that 9/11 worked out so well."
      As readers may recall the former "President" was that day eight years ago learning to read with elementary school children and ignored information that the first of the Twin Towers had been hit by a "terrorist" jet (actually lent by the Bush family with plenty of insurance.)
     Mr. Bush commandeered Air Force Five after being reminded that California actually was in a westerly rather than eastern direction from Texas. He directed an emergency landing at the Betty Ford Center or Graceland, which he was told was in Memphis. When the Betty Ford Center denied him admittance and told him to come back "during normal business hours", denying him the benzodiazepines, Dilaudid, 151 Proof Bacardi Rum, morphine injectable leg ampules, and pharmaceutical-grade cocaine that he demanded, he was reportedly escorted from the facility by security personnel. After he boarded, Air Force Five was last seen heading for Mexico, where the Bush family is rumored to control a vast cartel including illegal drug processing and transportation centers. Keep posted. Copyright 2009 by Big M and Little L, all United States and world rights expressly reserved.

George Bush Expresses Regret for Poorly Orchestrating JFK Homicide

     September 10, 2009. San Antonio, TX. 5:10pm CST. Former President Bush, Sr. while emerging from a brothel in suburban Reno, NV today expressed regret for not better planning the assassination of JFK in Dallas. Former President Bush was the CIA official responsible for JFK's security at the time. The former President Bush expressed regret for "not better targeting JFK" and presumably also wounding the Governor of Texas with the "magic bullet" as he sat in front of JFK.
     The former President Bush has been especially emotional this week reportedly because he "did not get his fair cut" of the insurance payoff from the 9/11 "terror attacks". As reported in NRA publication The American Rifleman,he helped plan the attacks with his son the President and Bush family financial partner Osama bin Laden. Bush did express his satisfaction concerning the World Trade Center total failure to provide adequate security against the attacks for which the Bush family of course had contracted to provide.Copyright 2009 by Big M and Little L, all United States and world rights expressly reserved.

BUSH STILL IN REHAB FOR CRACK ADDICTION

San Antonio. 10 September 2009. 3:45 CST. This just in. The former "President" the shrub little one Bush is still heavily sedated in rehab for crack addiction at an undisclosed location in Texas. You may have noticed he's been missing for a while since he was acting as President after his two coups d'etat in which he failed to gain the Presidency because he had neither the popular nor electoral votes. Helped by his criminal brother Governor of Florida, a corrupt and biased Supreme Court, he had managed with the help, of course, of his father to steal the position which Al Gore actually won. As John Kerry did four years later.
Mr. Bush, who was known while "serving" as Texas governor for his cognitive challenges and cocaine addiction, apparently used the US Presidency to acquire crack and high quality cocaine from the CIA and rich Republican cronies. Arrested late last month while having sex with an underage teenage boy in El Paso, TX, Mr. Bush faces execution in Texas for his criminal behavior. Stay tuned for breaking news updates. Copyright 2009 by Big M and Little L, all United States and world rights expressly reserved.