Wednesay, 11 May 2011, ISLAMABAD - We at the Ninth Amendment sincerely and earnestly hope that you are NOT STILL READING THE NEW YORK TIMES BY CIRCUMVENTING ITS "PAYWALL" SIMPLY WITH YOUR FIREFOX BROWSER SET TO "PRIVATE BROWSING'. In any case the Times has looked a little sparse on the real news lately spending its time chasing around with FOX and the others after whatever made up bin Laden story someone tells in the last five minutes.
Yes, by now we ALL have heard how President Obama astutely noted that it is "dark at night" and even a super-trained group of Navy SEALS typically takes about five years to get any story straight. After all shooting bin Laden once in the head and once in the stomach, and shooting his wife in the leg who may or may not have been coming at them with a hairbrush was probably traumatic even if they did have flashlights.
Anyway, our Abbotabad, Pakistan news bureau has picked up the real story from a satellite TV guy who the SEALs missed but was hooking up pirated satellite TV (another crime bin Laden could have been prosecuted for if we had not killed him) through bin Laden's closet at the time of the big assault. So for about the price of a beer, the guy gave us the true "scoop".
As President Obama comfortably watched on his state-of-the-art big flat TV from his luxury swivel adjustable black leather chair, he of course got to watch the whole bin Laden murder upfold from the security and convenience of the White House "Situation Room" or "War Room" or Wing or whatever they call it.
Well, it turns out if you look halfway carefully at your paper or TV, you can see that AT THE SAME TIME President Obama and all his friends were watching bin Laden get assassinated, bin Laden himself was switching between President Obama and himself bin Laden (while the SEALS spent a couple hours figuring out how to get upstairs) on HIS bin Laden's crummy little TV with the VCR hooked up all funny. It looked like bin Laden did not have as many friends over as President Obama did to watch TV at the White House, but on the other hand bin Laden probably had his three wives right nearby doing who knows what, and President Obama only had one..
The irony of the straight facts sometimes is almost too true to digest all at once, at least for the New York Times, but you can also come on over to the Ninth American site anytime and are welcome to share the real news with us. We have got you covered!
Copyright 2011 Big M and Little L All World Rights Expressly Reserved
Yes, by now we ALL have heard how President Obama astutely noted that it is "dark at night" and even a super-trained group of Navy SEALS typically takes about five years to get any story straight. After all shooting bin Laden once in the head and once in the stomach, and shooting his wife in the leg who may or may not have been coming at them with a hairbrush was probably traumatic even if they did have flashlights.
Anyway, our Abbotabad, Pakistan news bureau has picked up the real story from a satellite TV guy who the SEALs missed but was hooking up pirated satellite TV (another crime bin Laden could have been prosecuted for if we had not killed him) through bin Laden's closet at the time of the big assault. So for about the price of a beer, the guy gave us the true "scoop".
As President Obama comfortably watched on his state-of-the-art big flat TV from his luxury swivel adjustable black leather chair, he of course got to watch the whole bin Laden murder upfold from the security and convenience of the White House "Situation Room" or "War Room" or Wing or whatever they call it.
Well, it turns out if you look halfway carefully at your paper or TV, you can see that AT THE SAME TIME President Obama and all his friends were watching bin Laden get assassinated, bin Laden himself was switching between President Obama and himself bin Laden (while the SEALS spent a couple hours figuring out how to get upstairs) on HIS bin Laden's crummy little TV with the VCR hooked up all funny. It looked like bin Laden did not have as many friends over as President Obama did to watch TV at the White House, but on the other hand bin Laden probably had his three wives right nearby doing who knows what, and President Obama only had one..
The irony of the straight facts sometimes is almost too true to digest all at once, at least for the New York Times, but you can also come on over to the Ninth American site anytime and are welcome to share the real news with us. We have got you covered!
Copyright 2011 Big M and Little L All World Rights Expressly Reserved
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