Sunday, 17 April 2011, WASHINGTON, D.C. - We hope by now you have duly paid the Man for your Times digital subscription and are not GETTING THE NEW YORK TIMES ABSOLUTELY FREE SIMPLY BY SETTING YOUR FIREFOX BROWSER TO "PRIVATE BROWSING". In yet another world exclusive news release, the Ninth Amendment has learned that Colonel Moammar "DaDa" Qaddafi calmly waits to come home to President "Sonny" Obama possibly within days. Colonel Qaddafi, who has mystified much of the world press by writing intimate letters to United States President Obama, spent the last few evenings quietly walking the streets of Tripoli, capital of the country that he has ruled for forty years while NATO meanwhile bombed terrified civilians throughout Libya as they tried to flee somewhere else.
Back in Washington, while in public the tightly-controlled President Obama merely has been observed to eat more celery sticks presumably in his bid to stop smoking, in the wing of the White House a suite of rooms is being prepared for the long-awaited coming home of "DaDa" Qaddafi. The United States has mystified its NATO allies by, following a showy flourish to its leading the UN mandate of clearing the Libyan skies, largely withdrawing from the campaign of Libyan airstrikes and leaving Secretary of State Hillary Clinton to make confusing statements such as "Moammar must go" while she travels to Japan to check the radiation.
Suspicions abound that the United States seeks a country of refuge for the Colonel where the treaty establishing the Hague Tribunal has not been ratified, which includes about half of Africa, and therefore would not put the Colonel at risk for extradition to the Hague for prosecution for crimes against humanity. The most noticeable lacking signatory to that document, however, has of course always been the United States which fears that much of its "intelligence" services members and high government officials would themselves be called before the Tribunal to answer for the unparalleled global crimes they have committed for decades.
And so, although not yet widely leaked, the natural place for the Colonel to spend his waning years would in fact be none other than the White House, especially since the Colonel apparently believes his son and family live there, too. As to the answer regarding President Obama's true paternity, the Ninth Amendment is not yet at liberty to divulge that information. We do note, however, that the Colonel has been known himself to languidly gnaw on celery sticks as he is forced to watch "Green Acres" re-runs on his plasma TV since NATO knocked out his satellite TV antenna and cancelled his premium cable television subscription (on a technicality).
Peace on earth, and may the "Gang of Six" restore reason to this sorry country before it really is too late. As this nation's first President, George Washington, observed after leading the colonies to victory over their dissolute colonial masters of the dying British Empire, no country will ever survive must it stoop so low as to have to maintain a standing army to insure its very existence. The Colonel is learning this in Libya, and the only question that really remains is -- will the next United States President also let Colonel Qaddafi live on in the White House if he really feels at home there?
Copyright 2011 Big M and Little L All World Rights Expressly Reserved
Back in Washington, while in public the tightly-controlled President Obama merely has been observed to eat more celery sticks presumably in his bid to stop smoking, in the wing of the White House a suite of rooms is being prepared for the long-awaited coming home of "DaDa" Qaddafi. The United States has mystified its NATO allies by, following a showy flourish to its leading the UN mandate of clearing the Libyan skies, largely withdrawing from the campaign of Libyan airstrikes and leaving Secretary of State Hillary Clinton to make confusing statements such as "Moammar must go" while she travels to Japan to check the radiation.
Suspicions abound that the United States seeks a country of refuge for the Colonel where the treaty establishing the Hague Tribunal has not been ratified, which includes about half of Africa, and therefore would not put the Colonel at risk for extradition to the Hague for prosecution for crimes against humanity. The most noticeable lacking signatory to that document, however, has of course always been the United States which fears that much of its "intelligence" services members and high government officials would themselves be called before the Tribunal to answer for the unparalleled global crimes they have committed for decades.
And so, although not yet widely leaked, the natural place for the Colonel to spend his waning years would in fact be none other than the White House, especially since the Colonel apparently believes his son and family live there, too. As to the answer regarding President Obama's true paternity, the Ninth Amendment is not yet at liberty to divulge that information. We do note, however, that the Colonel has been known himself to languidly gnaw on celery sticks as he is forced to watch "Green Acres" re-runs on his plasma TV since NATO knocked out his satellite TV antenna and cancelled his premium cable television subscription (on a technicality).
Peace on earth, and may the "Gang of Six" restore reason to this sorry country before it really is too late. As this nation's first President, George Washington, observed after leading the colonies to victory over their dissolute colonial masters of the dying British Empire, no country will ever survive must it stoop so low as to have to maintain a standing army to insure its very existence. The Colonel is learning this in Libya, and the only question that really remains is -- will the next United States President also let Colonel Qaddafi live on in the White House if he really feels at home there?
Copyright 2011 Big M and Little L All World Rights Expressly Reserved
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